Gay Men, Pride Season, and Summer Lovin’

gay couple holding hands at beach at sunset deposit photo June 2022 podcast

Gay Men, Pride Season, and Summer Lovin’              Summer lovin’             Had me a blast,             Summer lovin’             Happened so fast,             I met a [girl] crazy for me             Met a boy, cute as can be! Source: Musixmatch Songwriters: Jim Jacobs / Warren Casey Summer Nights lyrics © Edwin H. Morris & Co. … Read more

Gay Men and Mismatched Libidos: Navigating Difference

gay male couple arguing on a bed one white one latino blue shirts

Gay Men and Mismatched Libidos: Navigating Difference Several times recently in my work in sex therapy for gay men, clients have asked me about what to do if they want more, or less, sex than their partner.  It’s sometimes referred to as “desire discrepancy” or “mismatched libidos,” and it can happen in gay or straight … Read more

Gay Men’s Sexuality: Focus on the Five Senses for Better Functioning

gay couple in bed one dark hair one gray hair deposit photo 4 11 22

Gay Men’s Sexuality: Focus on the Five Senses for Better Functioning In my experience as a gay men’s specialist therapist these 30 years now in 2022, and more recently as an AASECT nationally Certified Sex Therapist, I’ve had quite a few guys want to work with me frankly and honestly about their quality of life, … Read more

Gay Men and Consensual Non-Monogamy Early in Relationships

three bearded me in plaid camping deposit photo 2 8 21

Gay Men and Consensual Non-Monogamy Early in Relationships The curriculum that trains AASECT Certified Sex Therapists like myself (which includes hundreds of hours of instruction, four in-person weekend seminars, 50 hours of clinical supervision in not less than 18 months of experience, and continuing education weekend seminar updates each year), frequently addresses the “style” of … Read more

The Six Principles of Sexual Health as Applied to Gay Men: A Guide

gay couple in underwear in embrace deposit photo April 2021

I’ve been enjoying my recent completion of the Certified Sex Therapist credential from AASECT, the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists.  I achieved this not only from my long experience as a gay men’s specialist therapist (29 years in 2021), but also through completing an 18-month continuing education program for therapists provided by … Read more

Gay Men’s Relationships: Reconciling the Living Room with the Bedroom

kh pp gay couple beach

Gay Men’s Relationships: Reconciling the Living Room with the Bedroom In my long career (27 years) working with gay male couples as a therapist and relationship coach, I tend to see the same problems gay male couples have in therapy over and over – but, fortunately, there are often similar solutions.  One of the professional … Read more

No More ‘Cheating’ Part II: How Gay Men Can Have an Open Relationship Without Hurt Feelings

smiling gay male couple on a beach
gay male couple on beach
Gay men in open relationships need lots of communication.

Part II: Identifying and Implementing Your Options

In my previous article, Part I of this topic, I described how in my work as a psychotherapist specializing in gay men and their relationships, very often I see couples expressing a desire to eliminate “cheating” in a relationship by bravely, candidly, and sensitively discussing their options about how and why either or both partners might desire occasional sex outside the relationship, and how this does not have to be unhealthy or damaging to the relationship. Studies of gay male relationships over the years have explained how it is culturally relatively more acceptable in gay male relationships (more so than in any other kind of human relationship) to have a primary partner but allow sexual play with others.

Read moreNo More ‘Cheating’ Part II: How Gay Men Can Have an Open Relationship Without Hurt Feelings