Gay Men and Mismatched Libidos: Navigating Difference

gay male couple arguing on a bed one white one latino blue shirts

Gay Men and Mismatched Libidos: Navigating Difference Several times recently in my work in sex therapy for gay men, clients have asked me about what to do if they want more, or less, sex than their partner.  It’s sometimes referred to as “desire discrepancy” or “mismatched libidos,” and it can happen in gay or straight … Read more

Gay Men and Food: A Dynamic Relationship at Any Age

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Gay Men and Food: A Dynamic Relationship at Any Age As of the time of this writing, it’s the holiday season of 2021.  And what marks the holiday season more than seasonal foods?  Everyone, gay men included, tend to go off their diets and indulge in holiday treats like cookies, candies, baked goods, and winter … Read more

The Greeks’ Eight Types of Love as Applied to Gay Men

man with phone in bed and heart emojis deposit photo december 2021

The Greeks’ Eight Types of Love as Applied to Gay Men As a long-term (29 years in 2021) gay men’s specialist psychotherapist, sex therapist, and life/career/relationship coach, I have a lot of clinical experience history to draw from to help new clients.  Whenever we draw from history, we can find valuable resources from the past … Read more

The Needs of Gay Men in the Volatile “LGBT” Era

stars and stripes rainbow flag deosit photo June 2021

The Needs of Gay Men in the Volatile “LGBT” Era A couple of years ago, I wrote about some concerns I had overall about the gradual adoption of “LGBT” (or its variants like LGBTQ, LGBTQ+, etc.) as the umbrella term for referring to all sexual and gender minority persons in society (that article is here … Read more

COVID’s End as Trauma Recovery in Gay Men

triumphant man on mountain top silhouette deposit photo May 31 2021

COVID-19 As a Traumatic Experience At the time of this writing in early June, 2021, my local community of Los Angeles/West Hollywood (California) is gearing up for the broader grand re-opening of California by order of Governor Gavin Newsom on June 15th (according to a Los Angeles Times article of May 21, 2021, here). The new guidelines basically … Read more

Gay Men’s Relationship Advice: How to Succeed in an Age-Difference Relationship

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As a very long-term (28 years) specialist in therapy for gay men, I’m asked often for gay men’s relationship advice, especially how to overcome some of the most common and classic challenges in gay relationships.  Among these are questions about gay relationship situational difficulties that have to do with where and how we live, such as … Read more

Gay Men’s Strengths: Making the Most of Your Culture

Reaching Out to Culture

  I have been a psychotherapist specializing in gay men for over 28 years, and I do this as a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in California, as well as providing life/career/relationship coaching to guys outside of California and in other states and other countries around the world, and I’m also a trained sex therapist.  But … Read more

Mental Health During COVID-19:  Next to Normal

shrugging man deposit photo April 2020

Mental Health During COVID-19: Next to Normal Those who know me well know that I have a life-long obsession with Broadway musicals, recently having completed writing the book, music, and lyrics for a musical of my own, “On the Boulevard,” which takes place in my own very home of West Hollywood, California, a modern re-telling … Read more

Gay Men and Coronavirus/COVID-19:  A Special Kind of Coping

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[DISCLAIMER:  THIS WAS WRITTEN ON MARCH 10, 2020, AND THE PANDEMIC HAS WORSENED SINCE.  THIS IS SUBJECT TO THE PERSPECTIVE OF THE VERY EARLIEST SIGNS OF TROUBLE IN THE UNITED STATES…] Gay Men and Coronavirus/COVID-19:  A Special Kind of Coping I wanted to provide my regular readers of the GayTherapyLA blog some thoughts as the … Read more

Gay Men and Reaching Goals: Are You Stymied by Approach/Avoidance?

kh pp man questioning march 1 2019

Gay Men and Reaching Goals:  Are You Stymied by Approach/Avoidance? So much of what I do as a gay men’s specialist therapist and coach (for the past 27 years) is about helping gay men (and couples) reach their GOALS.  But what does that mean?  I think it’s about the idea that to live our best … Read more