Three’s Company: The Right Way and the Wrong Way to Have a Gay Men’s Three-Way

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A therapist’s office (similar to a physician’s or lawyer’s office) is a place to talk about things that would be difficult to talk about almost anywhere else except behind closed doors at home.  This is why psychotherapy has a long tradition of strict confidentiality:  what’s said in therapy, stays in therapy, with the exception of … Read more

The Tools for a Successful Gay Male Relationship: The ‘Three C’s’ of Commitment, Communication, and Compromise

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[This is from 2014, so some of the references are outdated like the evolution of marriage equality laws.  We’ve come a long way!] What an amazing turn of events for marriage equality in a relatively short time this year!  For a terribly long time, gay couples have pleaded, waited, marched, lobbied, and battled for the … Read more

Gay Men’s Relationships: Ten Ways They Differ from Straight Relationships

gay couple with laptop deposit photo 11 30 19

As I think back on the past 24 years (by 2014) of providing couples counseling for gay male relationships, I sometimes get asked what the differences are that I see (in general) in gay male relationships that are (in general) different from straight relationships.  In no particular order, below, are some of my thoughts.  I … Read more

“Allied Down the Aisle”: A Premarital Counseling Program for Gay Male Couples

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  With marriage equality being achieved in more and more states, many gay male couples are contemplating getting married. This is a serious step in the life of any relationship, and many gay male couples (just like straight ones), face it with apprehension, and anxiety, mixed in with the usual thrill of excitement and profound … Read more

Tips on How to Manage Money in a Gay Relationship

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As a therapist in private practice who has specialized in working almost exclusively with gay men for over 27 years, I have seen many individuals and couples who come in for help with issues related to managing money.  There are few issues for either individuals or couples that provoke more anxiety than money, especially if … Read more

Gay Men’s Relationships: How to Make It Work on Four Levels

older gay male couple adobe photo

In my psychotherapy practice recently, I have worked with a number of clients on issues of how to strengthen their relationships with a partner.  In my experience and observation over 20 years of doing couples therapy, and individual therapy with clients who are working on relationship issues, I think managing a relationship comes down to … Read more