Gay Counselor on Why Nerds Make the Best Boyfriends 

As a gay counselor (therapist, coach, sex therapist – I do all of those) for 28 years, I always enjoy when discussions with my clients inspire me to write on a blog topic because “life’s truths” just seem to jump out at us in discussion.  One of these was recently when I found myself saying, “I’m convinced … Read more

Gay Men Coping with Single Life: Tips and Tricks

Gay Men Coping with Single Life: Tips and Tricks At the time of this writing in April, 2020, we are in the midst of the global COVID-19/coronavirus crisis and there are “lockdown”/quarantine conditions all over the world.  I am continuing to provide both therapy or coaching services to my clients who live locally to the … Read more

Gay Therapist on Ghosting: Why Gay Men Do It, How We Cope

Dissolving in nature. Finding his inspiration in nature, posing with touching his shoulder and lowering his head at side

Gay Men and Ghosting:  Why We Do It, How We Cope In the blogosphere, there have already been some articles on gay men and ghosting, but none of them go into any real depth from a mental health point of view, and in my 26 years as a psychotherapist who specializes in therapy for gay … Read more

Single Gay Men in Search of a Relationship: This is Not Your Parents’ Marriage

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In my psychotherapy practice, I often work with single gay men in search of a relationship.  Are you sometimes frustrated that you are still single? I hear this a lot in my psychotherapy and coaching practice, where for over 24 years, I have helped gay men deal with this situation. There is no one “magic … Read more

Life as a Gay Male Introvert: 5 Tips to Help You Cope

  You’re outnumbered, again, but maybe not as much as you think. Estimates put introverts at between 25% to 33% of the population. If it feels like almost everyone but you is an extrovert, that’s probably because extroverts are just so obvious, and a lot of introverts are trying to be extroverts to fit in. … Read more

Spruce Up, Dude: Gay Men’s Grooming and Its Importance in Relationships

I’ve been providing relationship coaching and couples therapy for gay men since 1992, and over that time, I’ve noticed some patterns that will help, and hurt, a relationship. Lots of things help, but one that thing than can hurt is complacency.  Straight people know all about this; it’s the whole “married-now-let-yourself-go” syndrome — which can … Read more

Gay Men in Search of a Partner: Avoiding the Pitfalls of ‘Cash, Connections, and C—k’

In my private practice in counseling and coaching gay men in West Hollywood, my clients who are single often mention a desire to find a permanent partner.  This is only natural; most people (male/female/gay/straight) have an urge to find a partner/spouse to share life with, but this is by no means everyone – it’s also … Read more

How to Have a ‘Magnetic’ Relationship: You’re Neg, He’s Poz – Now What? (Part 2 of 2)

In part I of this article, I described some of the very practical HIV transmission risk management issues involved in sex between HIV negative and positive guys. Other issues that often confront “magnetic” or “serodiscordant” couples include not fully understanding the burden that HIV is to your partner, and being only partially able to sympathize and “relate” with his various fears, frustrations, and symptoms.

Read moreHow to Have a ‘Magnetic’ Relationship: You’re Neg, He’s Poz – Now What? (Part 2 of 2)