Gay Men and Reaching Goals: Are You Stymied by Approach/Avoidance?

kh pp man questioning march 1 2019

Gay Men and Reaching Goals:  Are You Stymied by Approach/Avoidance? So much of what I do as a gay men’s specialist therapist and coach (for the past 27 years) is about helping gay men (and couples) reach their GOALS.  But what does that mean?  I think it’s about the idea that to live our best … Read more

How Gay Men Can Face Any Problem: Developing Resilience – Part 1: Traits

arms to sky

Whether it’s Trump’s election and his appointment of virulently anti-gay cabinet members (my article on that is here), or just everyday life challenges that would be there regardless, gay men need support to face stressors of various kinds.  Things happen that are barriers, setbacks, and losses, and when they do, we need to mobilize both … Read more

Gay Therapist Gives Tips for Gay Men Aging Gracefully: Part II: Socially and Culturally

In part I of this three-part series, (How Therapy Can Help You Age Gracefully: A Guide for Gay Men (Part I: Emotionally and Physically), we looked how therapy can help gay men age gracefully from the emotional and physical points of view.  Today, I’d like to share two new aspects of how therapy can support … Read more

Gay Pride 2012: From a Gay Men’s Therapist Perspective

rainbow flag inclusive version update deposit photo June 2021

Happy Pride! Frankly, this year, it couldn’t come soon enough.  In my private practice specializing in gay men’s therapy and life/career coaching for 20 years, I’ve noticed that what happens in the political and social world very often affects the individual mental health and emotional state of my clients. When the Republican primary candidates relentlessly … Read more

No More ‘Cheating’ Part II: How Gay Men Can Have an Open Relationship Without Hurt Feelings

smiling gay male couple on a beach
gay male couple on beach
Gay men in open relationships need lots of communication.

Part II: Identifying and Implementing Your Options

In my previous article, Part I of this topic, I described how in my work as a psychotherapist specializing in gay men and their relationships, very often I see couples expressing a desire to eliminate “cheating” in a relationship by bravely, candidly, and sensitively discussing their options about how and why either or both partners might desire occasional sex outside the relationship, and how this does not have to be unhealthy or damaging to the relationship. Studies of gay male relationships over the years have explained how it is culturally relatively more acceptable in gay male relationships (more so than in any other kind of human relationship) to have a primary partner but allow sexual play with others.

Read moreNo More ‘Cheating’ Part II: How Gay Men Can Have an Open Relationship Without Hurt Feelings