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Gay Men and New Year, New Sex: Mind, Heart, Body

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Gay Men and New Year, New Sex: Mind, Heart, Body   Happy New Year!  As I start my 31st year as a gay men’s specialist psychotherapist, life/career/relationship coach, and AASECT-Certified sex therapist, I challenge myself to think of expansive, new ideas.  The new year, for all of us, is like a blank piece of paper … Read more

COVID’s End as Trauma Recovery in Gay Men

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COVID-19 As a Traumatic Experience At the time of this writing in early June, 2021, my local community of Los Angeles/West Hollywood (California) is gearing up for the broader grand re-opening of California by order of Governor Gavin Newsom on June 15th (according to a Los Angeles Times article of May 21, 2021, here). The new guidelines basically … Read more

Gay Men Keeping Perspective: Quality of Life for A Place in History

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Many factors affect your quality of life, just day-to-day.  But one tip that I have used that helps me, and the clients I counsel and coach, is to keep perspective about your personal life, your work, and your social life in an historical context of the age in history in which we live.  Many people … Read more

On Gay Men’s Birthdays, Self-Esteem, and the Meaning of Life

How many times in a year do I hear that there are people who “hate birthdays”?  Far too many.  For these people, any recognition of a birthday is somehow a validation of their fears of aging, or a reminder that they are “just getting older.”  What can I say about this, as a sophisticated licensed … Read more

August 1, 2010: Lindsay Lohan and Guuurl, What NOT to Do!

My take on the whole recent Lindsay Lohan story reminds me of a thing that I work with my clients on sometimes. As much as I believe in positive role-modeling of behavior, there is such a thing as the opposite — negative behavioral role-modeling, or what NOT to do. This can actually be very useful; … Read more

July 4, 2010: Independence Day

As we celebrate the summer and the Fourth of July — Independence Day — let’s consider the meaning of that word, “independence.” Historically, this means celebrating America’s birth as a nation. But we can celebrate our INDIVIDUAL independence by declaring ourselves free of something we no longer want in our lives. What burdens you? What … Read more

April 17, 2010: The Census and Gay Men’s Mental Health

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My very close friends will sometimes tease me that in ordinary conversation, I can switch topics abruptly, or I can link seemingly very different things. Such is the case with my thoughts on the current United States 2010 Census effort, and gay men’s mental health.  How are the Census and gay men’s mental health even … Read more

Inspiration from ‘Friday Night Lights’: ‘Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can’t Lose’

Inspiration from ‘Friday Night Lights’: ‘Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can’t Lose’ As a psychotherapist and coach in private practice, I use inspiration from hundreds of sources in the things I say to clients that illustrate a point and help them reach their goals. While these inspirations can be from psychological theory, experience with previous clients … Read more

Celebrity Deaths and What They Mean for the Rest of Us

OK; I suppose I should say something about the recent deaths of three American iconic figures: Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, and Michael Jackson. From a mental health point of view, or even a “life management” point of view, obviously Michael Jackson stands out, and a therapist could write for eons about those issues for analysis. … Read more