Gay Couples Therapy & Gay Relationship Counseling
For Gay Male Couples and Polyamorous Relationships in California
If you’re here, something in your relationship probably isn’t sitting right.
Maybe you’re not as happy as you used to be — or not as happy as you think you should be.
Maybe you feel bored, disconnected, irritated, anxious, or unsure.
Maybe the same arguments keep repeating, or the distance between you feels harder to bridge.
You may be wondering whether the problem lies with one of you — or in patterns neither of you fully understands yet.
Some gay couples seek therapy because of money stress, household imbalance, or the pressure of daily life together. Others struggle with trust, jealousy, resentment, or emotional withdrawal. Very often, sex has become a source of frustration, disappointment, or avoidance — even when love and commitment are still present.
For some relationships, there is a “third” issue involved: alcohol or substance use, compulsive behaviors, sex outside the relationship agreement, financial conflict, anger, or long-standing habits that erode trust over time.
And sometimes it isn’t dramatic at all — just the quiet realization that this relationship could be better, if only the two of you were functioning more effectively together.
How Gay Couples Therapy Can Help
Gay couples therapy provides a structured, confidential setting to address what is actually happening between you — emotionally, psychologically, and relationally.
In our work together, couples often focus on:
improving communication and reducing repetitive fights
understanding emotional triggers and recurring patterns
rebuilding trust after ruptures or betrayals
navigating sexual differences, desire discrepancies, or intimacy changes
addressing infidelity or breaches of agreements
clarifying expectations around monogamy, open relationships, or consensual non-monogamy
managing financial stress, household roles, or family-of-origin dynamics
deciding whether to repair the relationship — or separate with clarity and dignity
While this is psychotherapy, the work is active and goal-oriented, with attention to real-world behavior change — not just insight.
Over the course of my career, I have helped hundreds of gay male couples and polyamorous relationships strengthen communication, rebuild connection, and feel more secure together. In some cases, couples ultimately decide to part ways — but even then, the goal is clarity, respect, and reduced emotional harm.
Why Work With a Gay Men’s Specialist?
Gay male relationships involve distinct psychological, cultural, and relational dynamics that differ meaningfully from heterosexual couples.
Two men bring two sets of male psychology, social conditioning, sexual scripts, and cultural expectations into the relationship. Add in coming-out histories, minority stress, internalized shame, power dynamics, age differences, HIV status, sexual agreements, or differing views of masculinity — and the complexity increases.
I have spent over three decades working exclusively with gay men — individually, in couples, and in polyamorous relationships. This specialization means you do not have to educate your therapist about gay male culture, sexuality, or relationship dynamics. We can focus directly on the work that matters.
I also work extensively with consensual non-monogamy and polyamory, including negotiating agreements, navigating jealousy, repairing trust after boundary breaches, and helping partners assess whether open structures truly serve their relationship.
As an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, sexual concerns are addressed directly and without judgment — including mismatched desire, performance anxiety, shame, kink, evolving sexual identities, or redefining intimacy as bodies and lives change. I am kink-aware and affirm diverse forms of consensual sexual expression.
Clinical Depth Without Pathologizing
Couples therapy may involve working with mood, anxiety, trauma, or attention-related concerns when these issues affect the relationship. Therapy does not require that one partner be labeled as “the problem.”
The focus is on patterns between you, not assigning blame.
The work is often skills-based — helping couples develop more effective communication, emotional regulation, conflict repair, and sexual confidence — while also understanding how earlier experiences continue to shape present interactions.
Professional Background and Perspective
I have been in clinical practice since the early 1990s, specializing in gay men’s mental health, relationships, and sexuality.
I am a retired adjunct professor at the USC Suzanne Dworak-Peck School of Social Work, where I taught graduate-level courses in Couples Therapy, Evidence-Based Psychotherapy Models, and LGBT clinical practice. This academic background informs my work while remaining grounded, practical, and clinically focused.
I am also openly HIV-positive and have lived successfully with HIV since 1990. I previously served as Chair of the Los Angeles County HIV Mental Health Task Force. While HIV is a medical condition, it also carries emotional, relational, and sexual implications that can affect couples in complex ways.
On a personal level, I have been in a long-term relationship with my husband for over 23 years, which gives me lived perspective on how gay relationships evolve across different stages of life. We live in West Hollywood. I was also single for many years as an adult in the Los Angeles gay community. I live and work in the same community I serve, and many clients value the depth of cultural understanding this brings, alongside strict professional boundaries and confidentiality.
Practical Details
Location: Couples therapy is available to California residents, in accordance with state licensing requirements.
Format: Sessions are conducted via secure Zoom.
Scope: This service is psychotherapy (not coaching) and may involve assessment, diagnosis, and treatment planning when appropriate.
Fees: Couples therapy sessions are 50 minutes. My current private-pay fee is $345 per session. Longer sessions are available by arrangement.
Insurance & Reimbursement: I am an out-of-network provider and do not bill insurance companies directly. Upon request, I provide a detailed superbill that clients may submit to their insurance carrier for possible reimbursement, depending on their plan. Many couples prefer private pay for convenience, privacy, and continuity of care.
- I keep my practice intentionally small so that the work remains focused, consistent, and meaningful. I work best with clients who value depth, discretion, and a thoughtful pace, and who are comfortable working in a private-pay setting. Fees are listed below so you can decide whether this approach feels like a fit for you.
Get the Help You Need — and the Kind of Help That Fits
If your relationship feels strained, stuck, or uncertain, you do not have to figure it out alone.
I offer a no-charge, 15-minute phone consultation to help determine whether couples therapy is the right next step for you.
Call or text (310) 339-5778, or use the contact form below to get started.
