Gay Men and Gym Crushes: Cherish Your Romantic Notions

Gay Men and Gym Crushes: Cherish Your Romantic Notions Recently, a friend of mine at lunch mentioned that someone at a nearby table looked like his “gym crush.”  It turned out not to be, and my friend told another story, but his use of the terminology stayed with me, and got me thinking.  That term … Read more

COVID’s End as Trauma Recovery in Gay Men

COVID-19 As a Traumatic Experience At the time of this writing in early June, 2021, my local community of Los Angeles/West Hollywood (California) is gearing up for the broader grand re-opening of California by order of Governor Gavin Newsom on June 15th (according to a Los Angeles Times article of May 21, 2021, here). The new guidelines basically … Read more

Healthy Relationships Don’t Do That: A Guide for Gay Men’s Dating and More

As a gay men’s specialist therapist for over 29 years (in 2021), I’ve always enjoyed being active on social media and interacting with my therapist colleagues there.  Recently I saw a great post from my local Los Angeles colleague on Instagram, Armine Asatryan, MA, LMFT, who is a specialist in anxiety and Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy.  She … Read more

Improving Gay Men’s Relationships: Meeting Three Needs: Emotional, Sexual, Interpersonal

In a previous article (here), I cautioned single gay men about their dating skills and avoiding the all-too-often seen pitfalls of putting the emphasis in dating on the wrong things, such as Cash, Connections, and C—k.  As someone in a 19-year gay relationship with my partner/husband, I always say to clients that the things that … Read more

Three Ways to Improve Your Sex Life for Gay Men

  In my daily work with clients as a gay men’s specialist therapist for 29 years in 2021, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, as well as an LGBT-affirmative, gay men’s specialist coach, author, speaker, and consultant, one of the most frequent questions I get is how to help gay male couples improve their sex lives. It’s … Read more

Gay Men as Workplace Supervisors: Survival Tips for When You’re the New Boss

Gay Men as Workplace Supervisors: Survival Tips for When You're the New Boss

For over 24 years, my specialty as a therapist and life/business coach has been working with gay men.  For many topics, treating or coaching a gay man is very similar to how a woman (straight or gay) or a straight man would be.  However, “cultural competency” in working with gay men demands that the provider … Read more

The Six Principles of Sexual Health as Applied to Gay Men: A Guide

I’ve been enjoying my recent completion of the Certified Sex Therapist credential from AASECT, the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists.  I achieved this not only from my long experience as a gay men’s specialist therapist (29 years in 2021), but also through completing an 18-month continuing education program for therapists provided by … Read more

How to Avoid a Gay Relationship Breakup – The Four Risks

How to Avoid a Gay Relationship Breakup – The Four Risks As a psychotherapist specializing in gay men and gay male couples therapy for over 28 years, I’ve worked with so many different kinds of ages, nationalities, ethnicities, and backgrounds. You could say I’ve made a study of it, and I teach a course on couples … Read more

Gay Men and Money Management: How to Empower Yourself

Gay Men and Money Management:  How to Empower Yourself When I told a friend I was writing about “gay men and money management,” he said, “Ha!  That’s not for me; I don’t have any money to manage.” And maybe you feel this way, too.  But here’s the thing: you don’t need to have a lot … Read more

Gay Men’s Relationships: How to Deal with Your Ex

two men with their arms crossed and cocked to the side slightly

Maybe this title is misleading, because maybe, as a gay man who has left a relationship, you don’t want to “deal” with your ex at all.  And yet lately, in my therapy and coaching practice as a gay men’s specialist and AASECT-Certified sex therapist, I’ve been helping a lot of guys on the topic of coping … Read more