Gay Relationships and Legal Planning: Emotional Aspects of Wills, Trusts, Power of Attorney
Having been a specialist therapist for gay men for over 32 years in 2025, I’ve seen individuals and couples (and adult gay men in polyamory) in all kinds of life situations.
Primarily, I’m a psychotherapist helping gay men with the usual mental health concerns such as depression, anxiety, OCD, ADD, gay relationship challenges, issues regarding gay men’s sexuality, substance abuse recovery, career counseling, and family dynamics. I’m also an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist who specializes in gay men, something that is often overlooked among Certified Sex Therapists.
I also have a separate practice providing life/career/relationship Coaching to gay men all over the world, and I draw some of my skills in this having been a case manager early in my career as a clinical/psychiatric social worker, helping guys with general life management and super-practical problem-solving.
Occasionally, I see gay men facing life challenges related to the law and legal procedures; recently, I wrote another article on how therapy for gay men can support them going through a litigation process, when there is a place and function for the therapist in addition to the work gay men do with their attorney in pursuing their legal case. Therapy for gay men enduring the challenges of litigation or legal proceedings might help them cope with the stress and anxiety of preparing their case, and undergoing the interpersonally arduous experience of giving deposition testimony or taking the stand in court (especially under cross-examination from the opposing counsel).
A similar situation involving some legal topics and their related heightened emotions can be in a gay male relationship when the partners/spouses are considering common legal documents in life that many cohabitating or married couples might face. These might include making wills, establishing a legal trust with their belongings and assets, determining Power of Attorney in case of emergency death or incapacitation, planning for one another’s last wishes, determining the kinds and levels of coverage for various types of insurance, how to be aware of one’s rights in the workplace (where gay men can often face illegal discrimination or harassment), wedding/marriage, and how to legally manage tax obligations efficiently.
Again, while a lawyer/attorney would help anyone with these topics, including gay men and gay male couples/polycules, there are “mental health” and emotional support aspects of these “life management” topics that the attorney might only minimally discuss. Many legal procedures and documents are the product of heartfelt, candid, and compassionate discussions about one another’s values first, on how to protect each other now, and for the future, as you enjoy your lives together.
Urgency to Take Action
Gay men in relationships are, like so many people, vulnerable to what can happen if the partners involved do not “do the work” of attending to their legal arrangements and documents.
Years ago, I had a charming and funny friend who was an attorney himself. But while on a vacation, he became suddenly ill with a previously undiagnosed congenital heart condition, and passed away. He left his partner alone, in their home, and unfortunately he did not have a will. My friend’s very conservative, anti-gay parents basically swooped in after their son’s death and laid claim to all of his belongings and assets, including clothes, furniture, appliances, and certainly bank accounts and life insurance/death benefits from his job – as an attorney! The poor partner was left completely unprotected and at the mercy of his cruel and dismissive in-laws, who didn’t recognize their relationship or care about the well-being of my friend’s now-widower (this was in the days before marriage equality). This terrible situation was a cautionary tale about what can happen in gay male relationships if a partner becomes incapacitated or dies without having had proper legal plans, protections, and documents completed beforehand.
These kinds of considerations are very easy (too easy!) to ignore. They are boring, tedious, unpleasant, and outright macabre topics to discuss and deal with, like death or disability. They are “downer” topics and it’s only human nature for gay men to “avoid pain and seek pleasure,” like any other human or member of the animal kingdom.
But there is a paradox here: the more gay male partners in relationships take some time (which is not as much as you might think) to discuss their values and wishes, make plans, and document their wishes legally, in the short term, the more they don’t have to worry about it in the long term, with (hopefully) a nice long time before anything happens in their lives where these legal arrangements would become relevant – very urgently relevant.
Reflection: “Reflect on any personal experiences or stories you’ve encountered where the absence of legal planning led to challenges. How did these situations influence your perspective on proactive legal arrangements?”
Coping with the Macabre and “Avoiding Avoidance”
I am particularly interested in the concept of “lifelong learning” and continuous personal growth as one element that contributes to your overall Quality of Life. I consider it a kind of wealth and life abundance to learn from others, in friendships, working relationships, family relationships, and even in self-help books and seminars. So, I learned about the importance of taking these “boring” steps to protect the Self legally.
It’s not easy to embrace talking about some of these things. These considerations in life that have an association to formal legal documents are often sad, macabre topics that most of us would rather not talk about, like death and dismemberment and incapacitation, something that might be conversation over dinner with the Addams Family or the Munsters or the Beetlejuice Afterlife Waiting Room. But, as with my story earlier about my friend who died without a will and caused a hardship for his widower, these situations demand some brief, focused, careful attention to take care of, and then you can put it all aside and forget about it until the time it’s needed (if ever). I’ve had attorneys or friends tell me that even the most basic of wills can withstand legal challenge, such as the story one attorney told of a friend of his who was dying of AIDS back in the 90s and wrote on the back of a matchbook, “My partner so-and-so gets everything I own,” and signed/dated it, and despite being challenged by the guy’s family, the partner won. It was that simple. And, of course, more formal wills guided by an attorney or at least a good Legal Documents service are even better.
When you’re in a gay relationship and you all know you need to address this stuff, you just have to steel your nerve and validate that while macabre topics are emotionally difficult to discuss, it’s the price one pays to be on the other side of these discussions, arrangements, and procedures, and the peace of mind that comes with knowing that you are well-protected in the event of loss or hardship. It’s “cruel in the short term, to be kind in the long term.” (Kind of like the gym; “no pain, no gain.”)
You don’t have to tackle all of these legal (and emotional) chores at once; I would consider each of them (as most/all relationships do, or should) on an Administrative To-Do List and go through them at your own pace, making steady progress to have your relationship be on solid ground now and for the future. For example, you might tackle one topic every-other-Saturday until they’re done; something like that. Manageable, steady progress that’s better than nothing and avoiding it all indefinitely.
I’d like to take you through the list of topics that you and your partner(s)/spouse might consider to cultivate that “life-long peace of mind” that strong/healthy relationships strive for.
Reflection: “Consider your own comfort level when discussing topics like wills and medical directives. What steps can you take to initiate these essential conversations with your partner(s) in a way that aligns with your shared values?”
In no particular order, here are some considerations of how to protect yourself and each other in various situations that modern life can bring:
“Saturday Story” – Final Resting Place
The way my husband and I did it (and that’s not the only way it could be done, but it might help you to structure it), is to set aside some time (such as a weekend morning or afternoon; we did a Saturday) to talk about completing important legal documents. We used LegalZoom.com, and later TrustandWill.com, for ours, and while these are not ideal (many attorneys cringe when people use these services, but sometimes that’s your only option if you just can’t afford an expensive attorney’s services) to write our respective Wills and the Trust for our home, vehicles, and bank accounts. We also used this when I was working with my elderly mother on Power of Attorney for her medical care and estate, which is critical if you have adult caregiving responsibility for elderly parents (which I also wrote an article about).
We had had previous discussions (often on weekends at a relaxed, non-rushed, private time at home) to chat about our values and wishes, which involved our personal feelings, some of our family history and traditions, our cultural influences, and just very personal philosophies. And then we prepared the documents online, and had a “traveling Notary Public” come over to our home for the signing/stamping that is required often on formal documents to verify your identity, including giving a thumb-print at the time of signing them to authenticate that we really did sign them. We had the neighbors over (a very nice, friendly, straight Latino couple) for coffee and cake to be our witnesses and sign a bunch of documents with us.
After the documents were all signed and notarized, our little coffee klatch was over, and we put the documents in a fire-proof box for storage and have rarely even thought about them in the several years since (the nice couple moved away, and their property was bought by a corporation who uses it as an illegal AirBnB, which was a loss).
But what preceded this was a discussion between the two of us about our feelings about emergency situations. We talked about whether we wanted traditional burial or cremation, or other (legal) options, like burial-at-sea. I was sentimental about wanting traditional burial near some deceased relatives at a cemetery in Glendale, California, where my great-aunt (actress Esther Howard), my great-grandmother (opera singer Marth E. Howard), and many famous people were interred (L. Frank Baum, and various actors from “The Wizard of Oz”). So, one day we met with a “pre-need counselor” (which seems like a very PC euphemism for just “sales rep”) from the cemetery and bought “property” (a cemetery plot) there where I could be buried and my husband’s (cremated) ashes could be interred (assuming we don’t pass some other way(s) where a body is not recoverable). We talked about family history, our thoughts about the environment, and what might give us peace of mind about all that “when the time comes.” After all that, we put it aside to re-focus, more importantly, on living our lives in the first place.
Reflection: “Have you and your partner(s) discussed your preferences for final arrangements? What cultural, familial, or personal beliefs influence your decisions about your final resting place?”
Advance Directives
Both my husband and I have had health scares – more than one. We have had experiences with the medical system, such as doctor’s offices and hospitals, and even a near-death experience for me from a severe leg infection in 2021. Hospitals are places where people receive medical care, but they are nothing if not drastically connected to legal procedures, such as Consent to receive services (which therapists also deal with), the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA), which governs the confidential storage/disclosure of medical records, risk management, and standardization of procedures.
There are legal implications for all of this, including the hospital keeping records of what your stated wishes are in the case of an emergency, like being in a coma or otherwise unconscious and unable to speak or communicate. We talked about what we would like the other person to do if we were incapacitated, the classic “pull the plug” discussion, especially after tragic and horrific stories in the news about people like Terry Schiavo, whose husband wanted to pull the plug, according to what he knew of her wishes about what to do if she became incapacitated (which she did), versus her conservative religious parents who wanted her to be kept alive artificially indefinitely, and it became a raging and impassioned national controversy in the media that sparked the most histrionic behaviors from people who never even knew that family (not unlike anti-choice activists) and frighteningly scary public protests on the “right to life” versus the “right to death with dignity.” We didn’t want us to get anywhere near that kind of family or societal conflict, so we discussed our contingency wishes and documented them well so there was no question on what to do.
We also discussed what to do if one of us predeceases the other. Not only what we want done with our bodies (such as burial, cremation, or donation to science), but also how to manage whatever money or material assets we leave behind. We primarily focused on how the surviving partner could be provided for, like paying our mortgage which we share, but we also discussed others in our respective Families of Origin and charitable organizations we were interested in supporting, if our ultimate estates were large enough.
Reflection: “Think about a medical emergency you’ve witnessed or heard about. How did the presence or absence of advance directives impact the situation? What preferences would you want clearly documented for yourself?”
Financial and Asset Considerations
It wasn’t just what to do in the event of death or incapacitation, it was also about how to protect each other in other ways, such as designating each other as beneficiaries or “payable on death” with our investment accounts (such as with Charles Schwab, Fidelity, Vanguard, Ameriprise, whichever), bank accounts, or other assets, and documenting our wishes to make it clear “who gets what, and how much”, such as dividing assets in certain percentages to our surviving beneficiaries, like not only each other, but also to nieces, nephews, or siblings who survive us. And this would be applicable whether an estate is large, medium, or includes just a few belongings or bank accounts. I encourage my clients to delve into “financial literacy;” many people think having a Certified Financial Planner or a retirement account at a big brokerage firm is only for “wealthy people,” but that’s not true. These days, these brokerage websites are easier than ever to use with a relatively small nest egg. But I’ve also worked with guys with quite large estates, and their finances are especially complex when it comes to their last wishes. This is why legal state/nationwide Marriage Equality was so important because Federal law and the laws of various states protect surviving spouses with literally thousands of automatic legal rights, but some things need specific discussion and documentation. People forget that Marriage Equality is not “just” a heartfelt and romantic notion about people in love; it also has enormous and far-reaching legal implications. Remember, the Supreme Court case that gave us nationwide marriage equality was really about a lesbian widow who didn’t want to have to pay extra inheritance tax that a straight widow wouldn’t have to pay!
We also discussed how to get legal advice to protect ourselves and each other from any kind of trouble, such as one of us passing away (like what happened with my friend) and relatives coming forward to challenge the wishes of our estate. Years ago, we were advised by a very gay-savvy gay attorney that gay male couples who can’t think of any anticipated trouble from family members who might challenge a will or lay claim to things sometimes find that people who challenge them “come out of the woodwork”, especially where money is concerned, that can make things dramatic and irrational quickly and can create bitter family drama. He told us, “It’s not even things like siblings; it’s the spouses of siblings who can cause trouble and egg on their spouses to grab whatever they can from their loved one’s estate, especially in gay relationships from people who do not understand, like, or respect the rights of surviving gay partners in general, or just didn’t like their sibling’s spouse or partner in the first place.” He advised that one cannot be too careful, or take anything on “faith,” it has to be in writing in ways that would pass legal muster, and legal language needs to be very specific to withstand potential challenge down the line.
Reflection: “Evaluate your current financial arrangements. How confident are you that your assets would be managed according to your wishes in unforeseen circumstances? What steps can you take to ensure this? Who are the people you think would be allies, and who might challenge things? Do you feel confident you’ve designated a beneficiary for your 401-k or benefits at work in the event of your death or incapacitation?
Medical Emergencies
If a medical emergency were to arise in your relationship, do you have documentation such as a copies of a state marriage license, or certificate of a state Registered Domestic Partnership, or signed HIPAA forms that would allow a partner or spouse very quick access to doctors and nurses and other staff at a hospital, especially if you were traveling in a “red” state or a foreign country that would likely have people who practically enjoy putting barriers up to same-sex partners they don’t recognize, like, or respect just on “principle”? Having documentation about your relationship and legal access to Protected Health Information is critical.
Reflection: “Recall a time when someone you know faced a medical emergency. Were their loved ones able to make informed decisions on their behalf? What legal documents could facilitate this process for you and your partner(s)?”
Weddings and Prenuptial Agreements
Even though I’m not an attorney, I have sometimes worked with gay male couples in premarital counseling, including whether or not to have a Prenuptial Agreement, and if so, what that would specify, and why. One couple had a very hard time working through that, as one partner wanted to have a Prenupital Agreement to protect his assets he had accumulated before the relationship, but the other partner had had Family of Origin hardship and found the concept of a PA very triggering, cynical, and un-romantic. With work in couples therapy, they worked through it, somewhat painstakingly, to explore both the current situation and the underlying emotional dynamics, and ultimately came to an agreement’s component. They then just hired their respective attorneys to represent each of them to “write it up” in legalese language. They had to set limits with the attorneys who wanted to encourage them to alter their agreement, but they had talked it out and were clear on what they wanted; they just needed the attorneys to formalize it. They then had a happy wedding and robust life since. Situations like this illustrate the “multidisciplinary team” approach of how various professionals like a gay couples therapist and attorneys might support gay men as individuals or in relationships.
REFLECTION: When the topic of “prenuptial agreement” gets mentioned, do you see this as a pragmatic protection, or an un-romantic buzzkill? What do you feel is important to clarify before you married someone?
Wills
Preparing the very formal and legal document of a will is an especially important experience that covers both the logistical/legal and the emotional. A will is sometimes viewed as a post-script to one’s life, and it can feel like a psychological defense against our own sense of mortality. When we provide for others who survive us after we “depart,” we are providing for a legacy that has impact beyond our own lifetimes; it can feel like a form of immortality and “cheating” Death a little bit; “my heart will go on,” and all that. Many say, “Who cares? You’ll be dead!” but doing this can be important to have peace of mind while you’re alive and can take the sharp edges off the macabre idea we’re all going to die someday.
A will is a way to summarize our life experience and support our values beyond what we earn, collect, and do in our lifetime. Most wills between partners/spouses are about taking care of the one we leave behind, helping them to be financially (relatively) more secure for the rest of their lives, and to help them if they should need things like expensive long-term medical care in their own twilight years. If that’s pretty much taken care of (and that depends on one’s assets and overall socio-economic status), then there can be a discussion of if you leave money to other people, institutions (like your alma mater(s) or other schools), or charitable organizations that reflect the values you supported in life (such as LGBTQ+ rights, the environment, animal welfare, political causes, research, the arts, historical entities, etc.).
Wills are not just about money you leave behind, but also “stuff,” your belongings. Gay men are stereotyped to have “good taste” so we might collect things in our lifetimes that have artistic or historical value, and we might want to know in our lifetime what might happen to our “stuff” like collectibles, works of art, souvenirs, family heirlooms, antiques, etc. that might have both sentimental and commercial value.
Wills also provide instructions about wishes on what happens to pets (or kids) if we have them. Straight people can have these same considerations, too, but for gay men, we might have additional considerations, such as wanting any children we leave behind to be raised by surviving parents that instill progressive values about LGBT people, or prevent them from going to schools that indoctrinate students with religious bigotry.
Reflection: “Consider the legacy you wish to leave behind. How do your possessions and assets reflect your life’s journey, and how would you like them distributed to honor your relationships and values?”
Insurances
Even besides death, legal protections in gay male relationships include how to protect ourselves and each other by purchasing and carrying various forms of insurance, that would help mitigate damage and provide adaptive coping in the event of a catastrophic event.
It can be challenging to balance wanting to have a reasonable household budget for things to do to enjoy life while we’re alive and well, but also to purchase coverage if mishaps should befall us. Insurances for things like disability benefits if we somehow couldn’t work anymore, life insurance to protect our partner(s) to live in the same house or with the same lifestyle if we weren’t around to contribute from our income, adequate medical coverage for the best care available and access to good hospitals if needed; long-term care insurance if we needed professional caregiver assistance when we are still very much alive but in need of elder care, home insurance against things like theft, fire, flood, or earthquake (like us in California); and home/vehicle insurance to protect our everyday “stuff” that would be hard to live without. The recent extreme firestorms in Los Angeles illustrate dramatically the importance of adequate levels of coverage against fires or flood. With the prevalence of crime, we have to protect against losses if someone should take something from us. With urban traffic (or even suburban or rural), vehicle insurance is critical, and often required by law in most states/jurisdictions, to either repair/replace our vehicle or protect us if we should be found liable in an accident.
Sometimes, I think if I didn’t spend so much of our household budget on various kinds of insurance premiums throughout the year, there would be more available income to enjoy life during “normal” times, but the adage about insurance is that “you don’t need it, until you need it, and then you’re glad you have it.” Insurance can preserve your quality of life and standard of living in the event of great loss.
REFLECTION: How do you see yourself balancing having money to spend enjoying your daily life, versus paying insurance premiums to cover losses in an emergency? Which type of insurance coverage or plans are the most important for you? How can you and your partner decide how to allocate your insurance premiums budget, such as the type of insurance, the vendor for it, the levels of coverage, the amount of any “deductibles”?
Legal Actions to Protect from Political Changes
In the days before marriage equality, gay male relationships had to devise ways to protect their partner(s) legally without benefit of marriage laws on the books. Gay men might engage in “marriage-like” civil unions or domestic partnership opportunities, or even just domestic contracts designed to protect one another. During the height of the AIDS crisis, gay men sometimes adopted their partners like someone might adopt a child, but they established legal protection that way. During the marriage equality debates and controversy, some anti-gay Republican politicians in Congress or in state governments wanted to not only ban same-sex marriage, but also domestic partnerships, civil unions, and even private contracts that somehow mutually benefit and protect same-sex (especially gay male) partners, because in their virulent hate, they wanted to punish same-sex couples through every means they could think in their sadistic mission to see same-sex couples suffer under their Heteronormative Superiority Complex that knew no bounds, and no mercy. Those proposals were largely defeated, but that illustrates the lengths that the anti-gay politicians were willing to go, and if given enough power, would have gone much further.
Ever since those days, if gay male partners are old enough to remember that time in history (which wasn’t that long ago; nationwide marriage equality was not in place until 2015!), we have tried to think about how to protect ourselves against policy changes that happen on a local, state, or national political level, as the relative friendliness to LGBT people by governments can rise and fall (lately, gay men have been concerned about losing legal rights, including marriage equality, in the new, drastically anti-LGBT sentiments and stated aims of the Trump/Republican American Fascist Regime and the now-majority-conservative Supreme Court; a case now, in 2025, in Idaho, aims to go up to the Supreme Court to reverse nationwide marriage equality and “leave it to the states again,” which was a Trump/Republican campaign topic in 2024).
Reflection: In light of the current political climate, how secure do you feel about the legal protections afforded to your relationship? What proactive measures can you take to fortify these protections?
Taking Other Legal Precautions
In addition to all of these, gay men might consider other ways to position themselves to safest and most advantageous circumstances. Since gay men can often face discrimination or harassment in the workplace, keeping documentation that might help us in a case like this is wise. Keeping copies of (good) performance reviews at work, or complimentary letters or emails sent to us by bosses, colleagues, clients, customers, or peers in the field could help. Documenting the date, time, location, and people involved in either good (complimentary/positive) experiences, or documenting incidents or events of harassment or discrimination would be key to building your legal case either as a plaintiff or as a defendant. I had a gay male client who was falsely accused of discriminating against another minority employee, and yet he had records of how he had advocated for, promoted, and supported this employee during their long working relationship (I mentioned the other article I wrote about how therapy can support a gay man going through the stress of a legal proceeding.)
Documenting things like professional trainings or credentials you’ve earned, or job project successes, or sales numbers, can help your case if you’re ever fired or demoted for “trump-ed” up reasons that you suspect are due to homophobia, and you need to defend your history of your good working record.
Knowing who your “allies” are in the workplace, in your Family of Origin, and your friends is important; in the event of any emergency, note who would be your “kitchen cabinet” of supportive others and advisors that would comprise what clinical social workers (like me) call your Social Support System.
Reflection: Reflect on any instances where documentation (or the lack thereof) impacted a legal or workplace situation. How can meticulous record-keeping serve as a safeguard for you and your partner(s)?
Taxes
Nobody likes the burden of Federal, state, and local taxes, but these are funds that help society function as a collective civilization. My friend and colleague, Chellie Campbell, author of some great personal financial planning books like The Wealthy Spirit, tells the story that “other people’s taxes go for buying tanks and weapons of war; my taxes go to fund the National Endowment for the Arts, or aid for disaster victims.” Even though we can’t really designate or earmark our taxes paid for specific causes, it can be nice to cognitively reframe the “burden” of taxes in such positive ways.
But taxes are legal processes, and our obligations are set by laws (that can change frequently). The government can impose taxes in all kinds of ways (income, property, sales, vehicles, licenses, utilities, etc.) but we can also (legally) find ways to take legitimate deductions and limit the inconvenience where possible. Learning about what can, and cannot, be done with taxes helps us to live within our means and always have the IRS and others off our backs; people who ignore their obligations in taxes are often the ones who end up having to pay “extra” attention to them. (Cher tells stories about this in her recent autobiography – the first half of it, anyway – when she and then-husband Sonny Bono were young and hit with sudden stardom and wealth, only to see it fade with a big tax bill before she became the (wealthy) superstar she has been for decades; lots of young actors and other performers aren’t literate in how to manage taxes from often suddenly-high incomes, but their legal obligations remain).
REFLECTION: Taxes are one of the most polarizing topics in politics, with some people voting for political candidates based on their stances on taxes alone, from the political Left or Right. In your value system, where do you stand? What values inform your position?
Documents and their Storage
Developing and creating all kinds of sound documents to protect yourself and your partner(s) is important, but it’s also important in how you store them. I mentioned having a fire-proof (and watertight) strong box at home designed for long-term, secure storage of important documents, but doing other things like making copies of documents and having them stored off-site from your home at an attorney’s office, or secured electronic “cloud” storage, or in a bank safety deposit box, or just off-site at a trusted friend or relative’s (perhaps a sibling’s?) home can bring extra peace of mind that you have documented proof of your wishes and legal status should you ever need them and not have access to your own copies. Legally, most documents are equally legitimate if they are originals or copies, although original “wet” signatures (not electronic) and notarization can help lend extra status to them.
Reflection: Where do you currently store your essential documents? How accessible are they in an emergency, and what improvements can be made to ensure their security and availability?
Balance
Taking the time to really protect and provide yourself sounds like “a lot of work,” but it gets easier if you take these items one at a time and discuss them in ways that make you and your partner feel heard and cared for. You balance the work of protecting yourself and your relationship administratively, then you can put it all aside and go out and enjoy everyday life.
While all of these “dorky” little details can be tedious, what you pay in tedium pays off in long-term peace of mind. Taking care of these items shows that you have a robust self-esteem enough to provide for yourself, that you don’t abandon yourself to complacency, but that “you are there for you,” because you’re worth taking care of. So is your partner, and your relationship/family.
Protecting yourself through a series of legal documents and procedures lends respect and dignity to your life and relationship. Doing these things, even if other people don’t necessarily know about them, shows yourself and your partner/spouse that your relationship is just as good, legitimate, and worthy of respect as anyone else’s. It’s symbolic of your commitment to each other, and tells yourself, your partner, and others that you matter in this world, and that how you live is to be protected and treasured. It’s all part of healthy self-esteem, and “adulting” in the best ways possible.
Reflection: After reading this article, what emotions arise as you consider the legal aspects of your relationship? What steps can you take to address any feelings of overwhelm and move towards proactive planning?
If you need support for how to take care of yourself, your partner, and your family in these and other ways, consider therapy (for California residents only), or coaching services (for anywhere). Therapists work on not just the intrapsychic, but also on the relational and the practical in life in lots of ways; these are a part of today’s Modern Therapist functions. Taking care of yourself supports your self-esteem, self-agency, self-empowerment, and can guard against the helplessness or hopelessness of depression, or the burden of anxiety, and supports a healthy nurturance of your relationship with yourself, and others.
Let me know if can help you in that growth process. You deserve nothing less.
Call or text to 310-339-5778, or email Ken@GayTherapyLA.com, or Ken@GayCoachingLA.com, for more information or to make an online appointment.
Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (#LCS18290) in California, an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, and a retired academic (Adjunct Associate Professor) at the University of Southern California (USC) Suzanne Dworak-Peck School of Social Work, and the Founder of GayTherapyLA and GayCoachingLA. He has been working in LGBT and HIV/AIDS activism since 1988. He is now the most experienced gay men’s specialist psychotherapist and life/career/relationship coach in the United States today, for 33 years in 2025, and is in full-time private practice in West Hollywood, California, where he lives with his husband of 23 years. A library of hundreds of blog articles are available on GayTherapyLA.com/blog, GayCoachingLA.com/blog, and his podcast is heard by over 10,000 people per month in over 120 countries of the world. For more information on therapy or coaching services or to make an appointment, call/text 310-339-5778 or email Ken@GayTherapyLA.com or Ken@GayCoachingLA.com.
