Improving Gay Men’s Relationships: Meeting Three Needs: Emotional, Sexual, Interpersonal

In a previous article (here), I cautioned single gay men about their dating skills and avoiding the all-too-often seen pitfalls of putting the emphasis in dating on the wrong things, such as Cash, Connections, and C—k.  As someone in a 19-year gay relationship with my partner/husband, I always say to clients that the things that … Read more

Three Ways to Improve Your Sex Life for Gay Men

  In my daily work with clients as a gay men’s specialist therapist for 29 years in 2021, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, as well as an LGBT-affirmative, gay men’s specialist coach, author, speaker, and consultant, one of the most frequent questions I get is how to help gay male couples improve their sex lives. It’s … Read more

Gay Men’s Relationships: How to Deal with Your Ex

two men with their arms crossed and cocked to the side slightly

Maybe this title is misleading, because maybe, as a gay man who has left a relationship, you don’t want to “deal” with your ex at all.  And yet lately, in my therapy and coaching practice as a gay men’s specialist and AASECT-Certified sex therapist, I’ve been helping a lot of guys on the topic of coping … Read more

Gay Men’s Goals: How Do You Define Success in the New Year?

man holding 2021 balloon

With a few weeks into the new year, I’ve been talking with a lot of my clients about their goals for 2021.  I have often done this with clients at the start of a new year throughout my long career (29 years) as a gay men’s specialist therapist and coach, but this year is so very … Read more

Gay Men’s Relationship Vocabulary: Partner? Husband? Hookup?

Gay Men’s Relationship Vocabulary: Partner? Husband? Hookup?

In my long (29 years in 2021) career as a specialist in therapy for gay men and gay men’s coaching, I’ve helped guys in many different kinds of relationship styles.  Along with these styles comes a commensurate “vocabulary” that gay men use to describe and understand their relationships and the people involved in them.  It’s … Read more

Gay Men’s Relationship Advice: How to Succeed in an Age-Difference Relationship

As a very long-term (28 years) specialist in therapy for gay men, I’m asked often for gay men’s relationship advice, especially how to overcome some of the most common and classic challenges in gay relationships.  Among these are questions about gay relationship situational difficulties that have to do with where and how we live, such as … Read more

Gay Couples Therapy Challenges:  “My Partner Isn’t Contributing Equally!”

Gay Couples Therapy Challenges:  “My Partner Isn’t Contributing Equally!”

One of the most common themes I hear in my psychotherapy practice in Los Angeles (specializing in therapy and coaching for gay men, and gay male couples, for over 27 years) is in relationships (Gay Relationship Inequality) where one partner has a complaint that he feels his partner is not “making an equal contribution to … Read more

Gay Male Relationships: How Can I Prevent My Partner from Cheating? Common Reasons for Cheating and How to Manage Them

In my psychotherapy practice specializing in gay male individuals and gay male couples over the past 24 years, I have worked with many guys who need help because they are upset after discovering that their boyfriend or partner/spouse was “cheating” on them. I hesitate to even use the word “cheating” because it implies that it’s … Read more

Tips on How to Manage Money in a Gay Relationship

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As a therapist in private practice who has specialized in working almost exclusively with gay men for over 27 years, I have seen many individuals and couples who come in for help with issues related to managing money.  There are few issues for either individuals or couples that provoke more anxiety than money, especially if … Read more

Finding Mr. Right in Gay Men’s Dating: The Six Lights Theory

In my private practice as a psychotherapist, I work frequently with gay couples seeking conjoint therapy to address a variety of challenges in their relationships.  In my practice in therapy for gay men since 1992, I have come to notice certain consistent patterns in what drives conflict between either long-term couples, or couples who recently … Read more