Gay Men and How to Ruin a Friendship:   Ten Tips

Gay Men and How to Ruin a Friendship:   Ten Tips In my 29 years as a gay men’s specialist therapist in Los Angeles, as well as being an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, and life/career/executive coach for guys all over the world, I’ve helped a lot of guys with interpersonal relationships.  This can be about dating, … Read more

The Needs of Gay Men in the Volatile “LGBT” Era

The Needs of Gay Men in the Volatile “LGBT” Era A couple of years ago, I wrote about some concerns I had overall about the gradual adoption of “LGBT” (or its variants like LGBTQ, LGBTQ+, etc.) as the umbrella term for referring to all sexual and gender minority persons in society (that article is here … Read more

Gay Men and Gym Crushes: Cherish Your Romantic Notions

Gay Men and Gym Crushes: Cherish Your Romantic Notions Recently, a friend of mine at lunch mentioned that someone at a nearby table looked like his “gym crush.”  It turned out not to be, and my friend told another story, but his use of the terminology stayed with me, and got me thinking.  That term … Read more

COVID’s End as Trauma Recovery in Gay Men

COVID-19 As a Traumatic Experience At the time of this writing in early June, 2021, my local community of Los Angeles/West Hollywood (California) is gearing up for the broader grand re-opening of California by order of Governor Gavin Newsom on June 15th (according to a Los Angeles Times article of May 21, 2021, here). The new guidelines basically … Read more

Gay Men’s Goals: How Do You Define Success in the New Year?

man holding 2021 balloon

With a few weeks into the new year, I’ve been talking with a lot of my clients about their goals for 2021.  I have often done this with clients at the start of a new year throughout my long career (29 years) as a gay men’s specialist therapist and coach, but this year is so very … Read more

Gay Men’s Relationship Vocabulary: Partner? Husband? Hookup?

Gay Men’s Relationship Vocabulary: Partner? Husband? Hookup?

In my long (29 years in 2021) career as a specialist in therapy for gay men and gay men’s coaching, I’ve helped guys in many different kinds of relationship styles.  Along with these styles comes a commensurate “vocabulary” that gay men use to describe and understand their relationships and the people involved in them.  It’s … Read more

On 30 Years of Living with HIV: A Reflection: Semper Fi

On 30 Years of Living with HIV:  A Reflection Ten years ago, on November 3, 2010, I published a blog article on 20 years of living with HIV.  It was in response to a hate letter that I received shortly before that, and I expressed my feelings then about what living with HIV was like … Read more

Gay Men and the Mental Health Aspects of Working from Home

Gay Men and the Mental Health Aspects of Working from Home If you do a Google search on “tips on working from home,” you find almost too many returns.  It’s overwhelming.  I did a survey of them informally, and tried to find the “best of” those lists.  But what’s missing from them is where I … Read more

Gay Men and Reaching Goals: Are You Stymied by Approach/Avoidance?

Gay Men’s Relationship Vocabulary: Partner? Husband? Hookup?

Gay Men and Reaching Goals:  Are You Stymied by Approach/Avoidance? So much of what I do as a gay men’s specialist therapist and coach (for the past 27 years) is about helping gay men (and couples) reach their GOALS.  But what does that mean?  I think it’s about the idea that to live our best … Read more

Four Ways to Help Gay Men with Depression

young man at balcony in depression suffering emotional crisis

Gay Men and Depression: Four Strategies for Help As a specialist in therapy for gay men for over 26 years, by far the most common problem that I see in my office is about depression.  I always joke that if the Eskimos supposedly have 23 different words for snow (wet, dry, new, old), we need … Read more