Gay Men Coping with ED:  The Emotional, Physical, and Interpersonal

Gay Men Coping with ED:  The Emotional, Physical, and Interpersonal I have had the pleasure lately of many gay men seeking out sex therapy or life coaching services who are seeking to improve their quality of life via improving the quality of their sex life.  And they improve the quality of their sex life by … Read more

Healthy Relationships Don’t Do That: A Guide for Gay Men’s Dating and More

As a gay men’s specialist therapist for over 29 years (in 2021), I’ve always enjoyed being active on social media and interacting with my therapist colleagues there.  Recently I saw a great post from my local Los Angeles colleague on Instagram, Armine Asatryan, MA, LMFT, who is a specialist in anxiety and Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy.  She … Read more

Improving Gay Men’s Relationships: Meeting Three Needs: Emotional, Sexual, Interpersonal

In a previous article (here), I cautioned single gay men about their dating skills and avoiding the all-too-often seen pitfalls of putting the emphasis in dating on the wrong things, such as Cash, Connections, and C—k.  As someone in a 19-year gay relationship with my partner/husband, I always say to clients that the things that … Read more

Three Ways to Improve Your Sex Life for Gay Men

  In my daily work with clients as a gay men’s specialist therapist for 29 years in 2021, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, as well as an LGBT-affirmative, gay men’s specialist coach, author, speaker, and consultant, one of the most frequent questions I get is how to help gay male couples improve their sex lives. It’s … Read more

Gay Sex Therapist on Sexual Mental Health:  The Triumvirate of Self, Partner, and Others

Gay Sex Therapist on Sexual Mental Health:  The Triumvirate of Self, Partner, and Others Sex Therapy: A Background As a long-term (29 years in 2021) gay men’s specialist therapist and gay sex therapist, relatively recently becoming an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (the national credential), I have worked with hundreds or thousands of gay men to … Read more

Gay Men’s Relationship Vocabulary: Partner? Husband? Hookup?

Gay Men’s Relationship Vocabulary: Partner? Husband? Hookup?

In my long (29 years in 2021) career as a specialist in therapy for gay men and gay men’s coaching, I’ve helped guys in many different kinds of relationship styles.  Along with these styles comes a commensurate “vocabulary” that gay men use to describe and understand their relationships and the people involved in them.  It’s … Read more

Gay Counselor on Why Nerds Make the Best Boyfriends 

As a gay counselor (therapist, coach, sex therapist – I do all of those) for 28 years, I always enjoy when discussions with my clients inspire me to write on a blog topic because “life’s truths” just seem to jump out at us in discussion.  One of these was recently when I found myself saying, “I’m convinced … Read more

Gay Men and The Serenity of Acceptance, Courage, Wisdom

One of the most rewarding parts of my long (28 years!) career as a gay men’s specialist therapist and coach is the variety of guys that I’ve had the pleasure to work with.  There is so much variety to their initial issues or challenges that they are presenting to treatment with, and yet often I … Read more

Gay Couples Therapy Challenges:  “My Partner Isn’t Contributing Equally!”

Gay Couples Therapy Challenges:  “My Partner Isn’t Contributing Equally!”

One of the most common themes I hear in my psychotherapy practice in Los Angeles (specializing in therapy and coaching for gay men, and gay male couples, for over 27 years) is in relationships (Gay Relationship Inequality) where one partner has a complaint that he feels his partner is not “making an equal contribution to … Read more

How Gay Men Can Face Any Problem: Developing Resilience – Part 1: Traits

Successful man looking up to sky

Whether it’s Trump’s election and his appointment of virulently anti-gay cabinet members (my article on that is here), or just everyday life challenges that would be there regardless, gay men need support to face stressors of various kinds.  Things happen that are barriers, setbacks, and losses, and when they do, we need to mobilize both … Read more