Gay Men and The Serenity of Acceptance, Courage, Wisdom

One of the most rewarding parts of my long (28 years!) career as a gay men’s specialist therapist and coach is the variety of guys that I’ve had the pleasure to work with.  There is so much variety to their initial issues or challenges that they are presenting to treatment with, and yet often I … Read more

Gay Couples Therapy Challenges:  “My Partner Isn’t Contributing Equally!”

Gay Couples Therapy Challenges:  “My Partner Isn’t Contributing Equally!”

One of the most common themes I hear in my psychotherapy practice in Los Angeles (specializing in therapy and coaching for gay men, and gay male couples, for over 27 years) is in relationships (Gay Relationship Inequality) where one partner has a complaint that he feels his partner is not “making an equal contribution to … Read more

How Gay Men Can Face Any Problem: Developing Resilience – Part 1: Traits

Whether it’s Trump’s election and his appointment of virulently anti-gay cabinet members (my article on that is here), or just everyday life challenges that would be there regardless, gay men need support to face stressors of various kinds.  Things happen that are barriers, setbacks, and losses, and when they do, we need to mobilize both … Read more

Gay Therapist Gives Tips on Gay Men Aging Gracefully: Part III: Domestically and Financially

Tips on Gay Men Aging Gracefully: Part III: Domestically and Financially

In this third and last of my three-part series on how therapy can help gay men age gracefully, I’d like to share how therapy can help you be at your best domestically and financially.  (In Part I, we covered emotionally and physically, link here; and in Part II , we covered socially and culturally, link … Read more

Gay Therapist Gives Tips for Gay Men Aging Gracefully: Part II: Socially and Culturally

In part I of this three-part series, (How Therapy Can Help You Age Gracefully: A Guide for Gay Men (Part I: Emotionally and Physically), we looked how therapy can help gay men age gracefully from the emotional and physical points of view.  Today, I’d like to share two new aspects of how therapy can support … Read more

Spruce Up, Dude: Gay Men’s Grooming and Its Importance in Relationships

I’ve been providing relationship coaching and couples therapy for gay men since 1992, and over that time, I’ve noticed some patterns that will help, and hurt, a relationship. Lots of things help, but one that thing than can hurt is complacency.  Straight people know all about this; it’s the whole “married-now-let-yourself-go” syndrome — which can … Read more

Powerful Thoughts for Fabulous Living at Every Age for Gay Men

Louise Hay and the Power of Thoughts Lately, I’ve been revisiting the writings of Louise Hay, the New Age spiritual author and speaker whom I’ve followed for a long time now.  She’s 84, and lives a very vibrant life in San Diego.  Her whole message is about loving the self, and using the power of … Read more

Valentine’s Day for Single Gay Men: Coping with Hope

Valentine’s Day, for all its lovely sentiment, is perhaps one of the most divisive holidays of the year.  Everyone can enjoy New Year’s; every American can enjoy President’s Day (thankfully coming up very soon) and Independence Day; we each have a birthday.  But Valentine’s Day is a “holiday for lovers”, and many single people can end … Read more

Three Keys for a Successful Gay Life: Something to Do, Love, and Hope For

There is a quote from philosopher Emmanuel Kant that says that we need three things to succeed in life:  “Something to Do, Someone to Love, and Something to Hope For.”  In my psychotherapy practice specializing in therapy and coaching for gay men, when I see truly thriving people, I think these three things are key … Read more