With marriage equality being achieved in more and more states, many gay male couples are contemplating getting married.
This is a serious step in the life of any relationship, and many gay male couples (just like straight ones), face it with apprehension, and anxiety, mixed in with the usual thrill of excitement and profound joy a wedding can bring.
With over 28 years of experience counseling gay male couples through all kinds of problems and challenges, I have developed techniques and approaches that help gay male couples solve problems, resolve conflicts, and identify ways to thrive and be happy together for the long term.
I’m married, myself. I’ve been with my husband for over 18 years, and we were married in California in 2008, one of the 18,000 same-sex couples who married in California before Proposition 8 halted marriage equality until 2013. I approach my work with gay male couples mostly from a professional couples counseling point of view, but also from a personal one, as well. As a specialist in gay men’s mental health, I work and live in the same community (West Hollywood, California). We are also a sero-discordant couple (I’m positive, he’s negative), so I work with couples with both a professional and personal perspective on that, too.
In response to the many questions gay male couples have about how to approach the idea of marriage, I have developed “Allied Down the Aisle: A Premarital Counseling program for Gay Male Couples”.
This 4-session, modular package of time-limited couples counseling helps a couple assess their readiness for marriage by looking at their relationship and making it work in 4 ways:
1. Emotionally – Are you emotionally ready for this step? How do you each feel about the other? Where are the problem areas that need to be discussed?
2. Physically – Everything from casual touch, public displays of affection, to the quality of your sex life. What works? What doesn’t? What changes are desired/needed? What are your thoughts on monogamy, versus Consensual Non Monogamy (CNM)? Polyamory? The type, frequency, and dynamics of sex? How are your respective medical situations? Family medical histories?
3. Domestically – From taking out the trash to managing inequities in your incomes, from temperature of the house to what pets you have, how well do you live together? What are the cultural issues from your respective Family of Origin? How do you approach money management? How do you approach the use of alcohol and/or recreational substances?
4. Managing “The Other” — From having an intrusive boss, to dealing with other guys who flirt with your husband, how do you manage “others” from interfering in your life? What are the stressors that might impede on your relationship from the outside, in?
This is a 4-session package. Each session is 50 minutes each.
Package Price: $1,000 per couple
Additional Sessions, as needed: $270 (50 minutes)
Office/Phone/Webcam formats available
For help with this, or any other important topic in your life, call or text me at 310-339-5778 or email Ken@GayTherapyLA.com for more information or to book an appointment.
Ken Howard, LCSW is a gay, poz (since 1990), sex-positive, LGBT-affirmative, licensed psychotherapist and sex therapist who has specialized almost exclusively in working with gay male individuals and couples since 1992. He provides counseling, psychotherapy, or coaching sessions in his office in Los Angeles (near Beverly Center), or via phone or via webcam, nationally and world-wide. Ken is available Monday through Friday, including evenings, and associate clinicians are available various times who offer somewhat lower fees. Your referrals are always welcome.