Gay Men Using Apps: The Dilemma of Dating versus Hookups

Gay Men Using Apps: The Dilemma of Dating versus Hookups In my psychotherapy and coaching practice as a long-term (29 years in 2021) specialist in gay men, I’ve noticed in many client sessions lately that single guys (and those in open relationships) are presenting a dilemma about how to use the online apps like Grindr, … Read more

Healthy Relationships Don’t Do That: A Guide for Gay Men’s Dating and More

As a gay men’s specialist therapist for over 29 years (in 2021), I’ve always enjoyed being active on social media and interacting with my therapist colleagues there.  Recently I saw a great post from my local Los Angeles colleague on Instagram, Armine Asatryan, MA, LMFT, who is a specialist in anxiety and Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy.  She … Read more

Improving Gay Men’s Relationships: Meeting Three Needs: Emotional, Sexual, Interpersonal

In a previous article (here), I cautioned single gay men about their dating skills and avoiding the all-too-often seen pitfalls of putting the emphasis in dating on the wrong things, such as Cash, Connections, and C—k.  As someone in a 19-year gay relationship with my partner/husband, I always say to clients that the things that … Read more

Three Ways to Improve Your Sex Life for Gay Men

  In my daily work with clients as a gay men’s specialist therapist for 29 years in 2021, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, as well as an LGBT-affirmative, gay men’s specialist coach, author, speaker, and consultant, one of the most frequent questions I get is how to help gay male couples improve their sex lives. It’s … Read more

Gay Men’s Relationship Advice: How to Succeed in an Age-Difference Relationship

As a very long-term (28 years) specialist in therapy for gay men, I’m asked often for gay men’s relationship advice, especially how to overcome some of the most common and classic challenges in gay relationships.  Among these are questions about gay relationship situational difficulties that have to do with where and how we live, such as … Read more

Two Bottoms, Two Tops:  A Gay Men’s Relationship Dilemma – Now What?

2 gay men in bed with one sitting on the edge looking frustrated

In my private practice specializing in gay men’s therapy and coaching (for over 28 years), and more recently specializing more in sex therapy issues, one of the challenges that guys bring to me fairly frequently in asking for help is the dilemma of being in a very good relationship that neither partner wants to leave, … Read more

Gay Men’s Relationships: Reconciling the Living Room with the Bedroom

Gay Men’s Relationships: Reconciling the Living Room with the Bedroom In my long career (27 years) working with gay male couples as a therapist and relationship coach, I tend to see the same problems gay male couples have in therapy over and over – but, fortunately, there are often similar solutions.  One of the professional … Read more

Gay Couples Therapy Challenges:  “My Partner Isn’t Contributing Equally!”

Gay Couples Therapy Challenges:  “My Partner Isn’t Contributing Equally!”

One of the most common themes I hear in my psychotherapy practice in Los Angeles (specializing in therapy and coaching for gay men, and gay male couples, for over 27 years) is in relationships (Gay Relationship Inequality) where one partner has a complaint that he feels his partner is not “making an equal contribution to … Read more

Gay Tips for “Relationship 2.0”: Should I Go Back with My Ex?

Gay Men’s Relationship Vocabulary: Partner? Husband? Hookup?

As a gay men’s specialist therapist for individuals and for gay men’s relationships for over 27 years, I notice how certain themes come up regularly.  Lately, several of my clients have presented the dilemma in their therapy of whether they should go back with an ex, and form a “Version 2.0” new/resumed relationship with them. … Read more

A Gay Therapist Gives Tips on How Gay Men Can Cope with the Breakup of a Friendship

Lonely man sitting on a train lines without hope. Outdoor, outside

Gay Men and Friendships:  How to Cope with the Breakup of a Friendship As a gay male therapist with over 26 years of experience, I’ve seen many clients have to deal with how interpersonal relationships in their lives change over time.  Much of the time, I help guys with dating and romantic/domestic relationship issues, but lately some … Read more