Gay Men and When It’s Time to Break Up a Relationship

Gay Men and When It’s Time to Break Up a Relationship They say, “Love is grand.”  And it is, really.  In my 29 years (in 2021) as a gay men’s specialist psychotherapist, couples therapist, sex therapist, and life/career/executive coach, I’ve worked with hundreds of gay male couples to help them improve their relationships to try … Read more

Gay Men Who Live Together Too Early

Gay Men Who Live Together Too Early Over my long career (29 years in 2021) of providing couples therapy for gay men in California, as well as relationship coaching to guys all over the United States and other countries of the world, I’ve observed the same topics or challenges (“presenting issues” we therapists say) keep … Read more

Gay Men and Consensual Non-Monogamy Early in Relationships

Gay Men and Consensual Non-Monogamy Early in Relationships The curriculum that trains AASECT Certified Sex Therapists like myself (which includes hundreds of hours of instruction, four in-person weekend seminars, 50 hours of clinical supervision in not less than 18 months of experience, and continuing education weekend seminar updates each year), frequently addresses the “style” of … Read more

Gay Men Using Apps: The Dilemma of Dating versus Hookups

Gay Men Using Apps: The Dilemma of Dating versus Hookups In my psychotherapy and coaching practice as a long-term (29 years in 2021) specialist in gay men, I’ve noticed in many client sessions lately that single guys (and those in open relationships) are presenting a dilemma about how to use the online apps like Grindr, … Read more

Healthy Relationships Don’t Do That: A Guide for Gay Men’s Dating and More

As a gay men’s specialist therapist for over 29 years (in 2021), I’ve always enjoyed being active on social media and interacting with my therapist colleagues there.  Recently I saw a great post from my local Los Angeles colleague on Instagram, Armine Asatryan, MA, LMFT, who is a specialist in anxiety and Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy.  She … Read more

Improving Gay Men’s Relationships: Meeting Three Needs: Emotional, Sexual, Interpersonal

In a previous article (here), I cautioned single gay men about their dating skills and avoiding the all-too-often seen pitfalls of putting the emphasis in dating on the wrong things, such as Cash, Connections, and C—k.  As someone in a 19-year gay relationship with my partner/husband, I always say to clients that the things that … Read more

Three Ways to Improve Your Sex Life for Gay Men

  In my daily work with clients as a gay men’s specialist therapist for 29 years in 2021, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, as well as an LGBT-affirmative, gay men’s specialist coach, author, speaker, and consultant, one of the most frequent questions I get is how to help gay male couples improve their sex lives. It’s … Read more

Gay Men’s Relationship Advice: How to Succeed in an Age-Difference Relationship

As a very long-term (28 years) specialist in therapy for gay men, I’m asked often for gay men’s relationship advice, especially how to overcome some of the most common and classic challenges in gay relationships.  Among these are questions about gay relationship situational difficulties that have to do with where and how we live, such as … Read more

Two Bottoms, Two Tops:  A Gay Men’s Relationship Dilemma – Now What?

2 gay men in bed with one sitting on the edge looking frustrated

In my private practice specializing in gay men’s therapy and coaching (for over 28 years), and more recently specializing more in sex therapy issues, one of the challenges that guys bring to me fairly frequently in asking for help is the dilemma of being in a very good relationship that neither partner wants to leave, … Read more

Gay Men’s Relationships: Reconciling the Living Room with the Bedroom

Gay Men’s Relationships: Reconciling the Living Room with the Bedroom In my long career (27 years) working with gay male couples as a therapist and relationship coach, I tend to see the same problems gay male couples have in therapy over and over – but, fortunately, there are often similar solutions.  One of the professional … Read more