Gay Men and When It’s Time to Break Up a Relationship

Gay Men and When It’s Time to Break Up a Relationship They say, “Love is grand.”  And it is, really.  In my 29 years (in 2021) as a gay men’s specialist psychotherapist, couples therapist, sex therapist, and life/career/executive coach, I’ve worked with hundreds of gay male couples to help them improve their relationships to try … Read more

For a Job, For a Guy, For a Change: Gay Men and the Decision to Relocate

For a Job, For a Guy, For a Change: Gay Men and the Decision to Relocate Over the course of my long (29 years in 2021) career as a gay men’s specialist therapist and life/career/relationship coach, I’ve had a certain list of topics that guys come to me with regularly.  One of these is someone … Read more

Gay Men and Gym Crushes: Cherish Your Romantic Notions

Gay Men and Gym Crushes: Cherish Your Romantic Notions Recently, a friend of mine at lunch mentioned that someone at a nearby table looked like his “gym crush.”  It turned out not to be, and my friend told another story, but his use of the terminology stayed with me, and got me thinking.  That term … Read more

COVID’s End as Trauma Recovery in Gay Men

COVID-19 As a Traumatic Experience At the time of this writing in early June, 2021, my local community of Los Angeles/West Hollywood (California) is gearing up for the broader grand re-opening of California by order of Governor Gavin Newsom on June 15th (according to a Los Angeles Times article of May 21, 2021, here). The new guidelines basically … Read more

Healthy Relationships Don’t Do That: A Guide for Gay Men’s Dating and More

As a gay men’s specialist therapist for over 29 years (in 2021), I’ve always enjoyed being active on social media and interacting with my therapist colleagues there.  Recently I saw a great post from my local Los Angeles colleague on Instagram, Armine Asatryan, MA, LMFT, who is a specialist in anxiety and Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy.  She … Read more

Improving Gay Men’s Relationships: Meeting Three Needs: Emotional, Sexual, Interpersonal

In a previous article (here), I cautioned single gay men about their dating skills and avoiding the all-too-often seen pitfalls of putting the emphasis in dating on the wrong things, such as Cash, Connections, and C—k.  As someone in a 19-year gay relationship with my partner/husband, I always say to clients that the things that … Read more

The Six Principles of Sexual Health as Applied to Gay Men: A Guide

I’ve been enjoying my recent completion of the Certified Sex Therapist credential from AASECT, the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists.  I achieved this not only from my long experience as a gay men’s specialist therapist (29 years in 2021), but also through completing an 18-month continuing education program for therapists provided by … Read more

How to Avoid a Gay Relationship Breakup – The Four Risks

How to Avoid a Gay Relationship Breakup – The Four Risks As a psychotherapist specializing in gay men and gay male couples therapy for over 28 years, I’ve worked with so many different kinds of ages, nationalities, ethnicities, and backgrounds. You could say I’ve made a study of it, and I teach a course on couples … Read more

Gay Men’s Relationships: How to Deal with Your Ex

two men with their arms crossed and cocked to the side slightly

Maybe this title is misleading, because maybe, as a gay man who has left a relationship, you don’t want to “deal” with your ex at all.  And yet lately, in my therapy and coaching practice as a gay men’s specialist and AASECT-Certified sex therapist, I’ve been helping a lot of guys on the topic of coping … Read more

Gay Sex Therapist on Sexual Mental Health:  The Triumvirate of Self, Partner, and Others

Gay Sex Therapist on Sexual Mental Health:  The Triumvirate of Self, Partner, and Others Sex Therapy: A Background As a long-term (29 years in 2021) gay men’s specialist therapist and gay sex therapist, relatively recently becoming an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (the national credential), I have worked with hundreds or thousands of gay men to … Read more