Gay Male Relationships and the ADD/OCD Syndrome

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“Gay Male Relationships and the ADD/OCD Syndrome” In my psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in gay men and gay male couples for what is now (in 2022) thirty years (whew!), I keep noticing a pattern in the gay male couples I serve that one partner seems to generally have a pattern of thinking and behavior … Read more

The Greeks’ Eight Types of Love as Applied to Gay Men

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The Greeks’ Eight Types of Love as Applied to Gay Men As a long-term (29 years in 2021) gay men’s specialist psychotherapist, sex therapist, and life/career/relationship coach, I have a lot of clinical experience history to draw from to help new clients.  Whenever we draw from history, we can find valuable resources from the past … Read more

Gay Men and When It’s Time to Break Up a Relationship

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Gay Men and When It’s Time to Break Up a Relationship They say, “Love is grand.”  And it is, really.  In my 29 years (in 2021) as a gay men’s specialist psychotherapist, couples therapist, sex therapist, and life/career/executive coach, I’ve worked with hundreds of gay male couples to help them improve their relationships to try … Read more

Gay Men and Consensual Non-Monogamy Early in Relationships

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Gay Men and Consensual Non-Monogamy Early in Relationships The curriculum that trains AASECT Certified Sex Therapists like myself (which includes hundreds of hours of instruction, four in-person weekend seminars, 50 hours of clinical supervision in not less than 18 months of experience, and continuing education weekend seminar updates each year), frequently addresses the “style” of … Read more

For a Job, For a Guy, For a Change: Gay Men and the Decision to Relocate

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For a Job, For a Guy, For a Change: Gay Men and the Decision to Relocate Over the course of my long (29 years in 2021) career as a gay men’s specialist therapist and life/career/relationship coach, I’ve had a certain list of topics that guys come to me with regularly.  One of these is someone … Read more

COVID’s End as Trauma Recovery in Gay Men

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COVID-19 As a Traumatic Experience At the time of this writing in early June, 2021, my local community of Los Angeles/West Hollywood (California) is gearing up for the broader grand re-opening of California by order of Governor Gavin Newsom on June 15th (according to a Los Angeles Times article of May 21, 2021, here). The new guidelines basically … Read more

Healthy Relationships Don’t Do That: A Guide for Gay Men’s Dating and More

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As a gay men’s specialist therapist for over 29 years (in 2021), I’ve always enjoyed being active on social media and interacting with my therapist colleagues there.  Recently I saw a great post from my local Los Angeles colleague on Instagram, Armine Asatryan, MA, LMFT, who is a specialist in anxiety and Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy.  She … Read more

Improving Gay Men’s Relationships: Meeting Three Needs: Emotional, Sexual, Interpersonal

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In a previous article (here), I cautioned single gay men about their dating skills and avoiding the all-too-often seen pitfalls of putting the emphasis in dating on the wrong things, such as Cash, Connections, and C—k.  As someone in a 19-year gay relationship with my partner/husband, I always say to clients that the things that … Read more

Gay Men’s Relationship Vocabulary: Partner? Husband? Hookup?

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In my long (29 years in 2021) career as a specialist in therapy for gay men and gay men’s coaching, I’ve helped guys in many different kinds of relationship styles.  Along with these styles comes a commensurate “vocabulary” that gay men use to describe and understand their relationships and the people involved in them.  It’s … Read more

Gay Men and Sex During COVID-19

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As I continue to see clients online during this “COVID Era” as I call it, I notice patterns of how “my guys” are coping.  Of course, dealing with the whole COVID-19 pandemic and its many stressors about the economy, work, housing during quarantine, relationships, and dating manifest in different ways, depending on where you live (where … Read more