For a Job, For a Guy, For a Change: Gay Men and the Decision to Relocate

For a Job, For a Guy, For a Change: Gay Men and the Decision to Relocate Over the course of my long (29 years in 2021) career as a gay men’s specialist therapist and life/career/relationship coach, I’ve had a certain list of topics that guys come to me with regularly.  One of these is someone … Read more

COVID’s End as Trauma Recovery in Gay Men

COVID-19 As a Traumatic Experience At the time of this writing in early June, 2021, my local community of Los Angeles/West Hollywood (California) is gearing up for the broader grand re-opening of California by order of Governor Gavin Newsom on June 15th (according to a Los Angeles Times article of May 21, 2021, here). The new guidelines basically … Read more

Healthy Relationships Don’t Do That: A Guide for Gay Men’s Dating and More

As a gay men’s specialist therapist for over 29 years (in 2021), I’ve always enjoyed being active on social media and interacting with my therapist colleagues there.  Recently I saw a great post from my local Los Angeles colleague on Instagram, Armine Asatryan, MA, LMFT, who is a specialist in anxiety and Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy.  She … Read more

Improving Gay Men’s Relationships: Meeting Three Needs: Emotional, Sexual, Interpersonal

In a previous article (here), I cautioned single gay men about their dating skills and avoiding the all-too-often seen pitfalls of putting the emphasis in dating on the wrong things, such as Cash, Connections, and C—k.  As someone in a 19-year gay relationship with my partner/husband, I always say to clients that the things that … Read more

Gay Men’s Relationship Vocabulary: Partner? Husband? Hookup?

Gay Men’s Relationship Vocabulary: Partner? Husband? Hookup?

In my long (29 years in 2021) career as a specialist in therapy for gay men and gay men’s coaching, I’ve helped guys in many different kinds of relationship styles.  Along with these styles comes a commensurate “vocabulary” that gay men use to describe and understand their relationships and the people involved in them.  It’s … Read more

Gay Men and Sex During COVID-19

As I continue to see clients online during this “COVID Era” as I call it, I notice patterns of how “my guys” are coping.  Of course, dealing with the whole COVID-19 pandemic and its many stressors about the economy, work, housing during quarantine, relationships, and dating manifest in different ways, depending on where you live (where … Read more

Two Bottoms, Two Tops:  A Gay Men’s Relationship Dilemma – Now What?

2 gay men in bed with one sitting on the edge looking frustrated

In my private practice specializing in gay men’s therapy and coaching (for over 28 years), and more recently specializing more in sex therapy issues, one of the challenges that guys bring to me fairly frequently in asking for help is the dilemma of being in a very good relationship that neither partner wants to leave, … Read more

Gay Men and Discipline: The Secret Weapon for Achieving Your Goals

Man Rolling Up Sleeves

Gay Men and Discipline: The Secret Weapon for Achieving Your Goals I’d like to start this article about “discipline” by admitting that I’ve been procrastinating writing it.  Which shows exactly why it needs to be written.  How many of you have done the same? You think about doing something.  You know it would be valuable … Read more

Gay Men and The Serenity of Acceptance, Courage, Wisdom

One of the most rewarding parts of my long (28 years!) career as a gay men’s specialist therapist and coach is the variety of guys that I’ve had the pleasure to work with.  There is so much variety to their initial issues or challenges that they are presenting to treatment with, and yet often I … Read more

Gay Men and Reaching Goals: Are You Stymied by Approach/Avoidance?

Gay Men’s Relationship Vocabulary: Partner? Husband? Hookup?

Gay Men and Reaching Goals:  Are You Stymied by Approach/Avoidance? So much of what I do as a gay men’s specialist therapist and coach (for the past 27 years) is about helping gay men (and couples) reach their GOALS.  But what does that mean?  I think it’s about the idea that to live our best … Read more