Gay Men and The Serenity of Acceptance, Courage, Wisdom

One of the most rewarding parts of my long (28 years!) career as a gay men’s specialist therapist and coach is the variety of guys that I’ve had the pleasure to work with.  There is so much variety to their initial issues or challenges that they are presenting to treatment with, and yet often I … Read more

Gay Men and Reaching Goals: Are You Stymied by Approach/Avoidance?

Gay Therapist Tips for "Relationship 2.0": Should I Go Back with My Ex?

Gay Men and Reaching Goals:  Are You Stymied by Approach/Avoidance? So much of what I do as a gay men’s specialist therapist and coach (for the past 27 years) is about helping gay men (and couples) reach their GOALS.  But what does that mean?  I think it’s about the idea that to live our best … Read more

Guest Blog:  Gay Therapist Brandon Malde-Zoradi on Gay Men Working Through the Pain of Religious Abuse

Gay Therapist Brandon Malde-Zoradi

Guest Blog by Brandon Malde-Zoradi, MA, AMFT, APCC, Staff Clinician at GayTherapyLA:  “Gay Therapist on Working Through the Pain of Religious Abuse” Religion can be uncomfortable to discuss at times; it should be no surprise why this topic often makes the lists of things that should not be brought up at dinner or a party. … Read more

Gay Therapist Gives Tips for Gay Men Aging Gracefully: Part II: Socially and Culturally

In part I of this three-part series, (How Therapy Can Help You Age Gracefully: A Guide for Gay Men (Part I: Emotionally and Physically), we looked how therapy can help gay men age gracefully from the emotional and physical points of view.  Today, I’d like to share two new aspects of how therapy can support … Read more

The Tools for a Successful Gay Male Relationship: The ‘Three C’s’ of Commitment, Communication, and Compromise

[This is from 2014, so some of the references are outdated like the evolution of marriage equality laws.  We’ve come a long way!] What an amazing turn of events for marriage equality in a relatively short time this year!  For a terribly long time, gay couples have pleaded, waited, marched, lobbied, and battled for the … Read more

Loving Someone with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), and its less-severe related diagnosis, Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD) can be the topic of jokes and even comedy movies.  But living with the actual disorder is no joke.  OCD is quite burdensome to live with, and it can make the partners of people living with OCD stressed-out, too.  People living with OCD … Read more

Gay Men and Depression: Finding Relief without Medications

young man at balcony in depression suffering emotional crisis

As a gay therapist in Los Angeles for the past 27 years, I have found that Depression is the single most-common diagnosis and presenting problem.  This is true for most therapists, from what I hear from colleagues and from my students that I teach in the advanced psychotherapy course at USC. According to many studies, … Read more

How to Have a ‘Magnetic’ Relationship: You’re Neg, He’s Poz – Now What? (Part 1 of 2)

How to Have a ‘Magnetic’ Relationship: You’re Neg, He’s Poz – Now What? (Part 1 of 2)

 

 

 

 

 

[NOTE:  This article was written before PrEP. I’ve been a gay men’s specialist therapist and blogger for a VERY long time…]

You’re on your third date with someone who very well could be Mr. Right. You’re impressed that you got him to go to your favorite restaurant when you weren’t sure he would like it. You’re staring across the candle-lit table at those beautiful green eyes of his. He pauses and then takes a deep breath, a little sigh, and says, “So… I guess I should tell you that I’m HIV-positive.”

Read moreHow to Have a ‘Magnetic’ Relationship: You’re Neg, He’s Poz – Now What? (Part 1 of 2)