Gay Male Relationships: What are the Boundaries Between Partners?

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Gay Male Relationships: What are the Boundaries Between Partners? As a gay men’s specialist psychotherapist and coach for 30 years now (in 2022), and more recently a nationally Certified Sex Therapist, I like to write about topics that I’m observing across recent multiple sessions with my clients from my full-time private practice.  A topic emerged … Read more

The Needs of Gay Men in the Volatile “LGBT” Era

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The Needs of Gay Men in the Volatile “LGBT” Era A couple of years ago, I wrote about some concerns I had overall about the gradual adoption of “LGBT” (or its variants like LGBTQ, LGBTQ+, etc.) as the umbrella term for referring to all sexual and gender minority persons in society (that article is here … Read more

COVID’s End as Trauma Recovery in Gay Men

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COVID-19 As a Traumatic Experience At the time of this writing in early June, 2021, my local community of Los Angeles/West Hollywood (California) is gearing up for the broader grand re-opening of California by order of Governor Gavin Newsom on June 15th (according to a Los Angeles Times article of May 21, 2021, here). The new guidelines basically … Read more

The Six Principles of Sexual Health as Applied to Gay Men: A Guide

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I’ve been enjoying my recent completion of the Certified Sex Therapist credential from AASECT, the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists.  I achieved this not only from my long experience as a gay men’s specialist therapist (29 years in 2021), but also through completing an 18-month continuing education program for therapists provided by … Read more

Gay Men’s Relationship Vocabulary: Partner? Husband? Hookup?

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In my long (29 years in 2021) career as a specialist in therapy for gay men and gay men’s coaching, I’ve helped guys in many different kinds of relationship styles.  Along with these styles comes a commensurate “vocabulary” that gay men use to describe and understand their relationships and the people involved in them.  It’s … Read more

Gay Men and Discipline: The Secret Weapon for Achieving Your Goals

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Gay Men and Discipline: The Secret Weapon for Achieving Your Goals I’d like to start this article about “discipline” by admitting that I’ve been procrastinating writing it.  Which shows exactly why it needs to be written.  How many of you have done the same? You think about doing something.  You know it would be valuable … Read more

Gay Men and The Serenity of Acceptance, Courage, Wisdom

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One of the most rewarding parts of my long (28 years!) career as a gay men’s specialist therapist and coach is the variety of guys that I’ve had the pleasure to work with.  There is so much variety to their initial issues or challenges that they are presenting to treatment with, and yet often I … Read more

Gay Tips for “Relationship 2.0”: Should I Go Back with My Ex?

kh pp man questioning march 1 2019

As a gay men’s specialist therapist for individuals and for gay men’s relationships for over 27 years, I notice how certain themes come up regularly.  Lately, several of my clients have presented the dilemma in their therapy of whether they should go back with an ex, and form a “Version 2.0” new/resumed relationship with them. … Read more

Gay Therapist Gives Gay Relationship Tips: Resist the Urge to Snoop!

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After 27 years as a therapist who specializes in gay men and couples, I’ve seen many problems in relationships repeat, over and over.  One of these is the issue of couples who are struggling to deal with jealousy.  And among jealousy issues, is snooping. Snooping is any act where one partner is doing something secretly … Read more

Three Keys for a Successful Gay Life: Something to Do, Love, and Hope For

There is a quote from philosopher Emmanuel Kant that says that we need three things to succeed in life:  “Something to Do, Someone to Love, and Something to Hope For.”  In my psychotherapy practice specializing in therapy and coaching for gay men, when I see truly thriving people, I think these three things are key … Read more