Gay Therapist in Los Angeles on Tips for Problem-Solving in Gay Men’s Open Relationships

Relationship Counseling Therapist for Gay Men

Problem-Solving in Gay Men’s Open Relationships:  Special Topics In a number of previous blog articles on gay men’s relationships in general, and gay open relationships in particular, such as How to Have An Open Relationship Without Hurt Feelings, Part One and Part Two, I’ve discussed how research shows that about half of gay male couples … Read moreGay Therapist in Los Angeles on Tips for Problem-Solving in Gay Men’s Open Relationships

Gay Male Relationships: How Can I Prevent My Partner from Cheating? Common Reasons for Cheating and How to Manage Them

In my psychotherapy practice specializing in gay male individuals and gay male couples over the past 24 years, I have worked with many guys who need help because they are upset after discovering that their boyfriend or partner/spouse was “cheating” on them. I hesitate to even use the word “cheating” because it implies that it’s … Read moreGay Male Relationships: How Can I Prevent My Partner from Cheating? Common Reasons for Cheating and How to Manage Them

The Value of Flirtations in a Gay Male Monogamous Relationship

Not long ago, one of my clients, “Ryan” (not his real name) gave me permission to talk about one of his experiences in therapy for this blog.  He was talking about flirtations.  Ryan and his partner have been in a long-term, monogamous relationship for about 6 years.  But truth be told, even though they only … Read moreThe Value of Flirtations in a Gay Male Monogamous Relationship

Three’s Company: The Right Way and the Wrong Way to Have a Gay Men’s Three-Way

A therapist’s office (similar to a physician’s or lawyer’s office) is a place to talk about things that would be difficult to talk about almost anywhere else except behind closed doors at home.  This is why psychotherapy has a long tradition of strict confidentiality:  what’s said in therapy, stays in therapy, with the exception of … Read moreThree’s Company: The Right Way and the Wrong Way to Have a Gay Men’s Three-Way

The Role and Value of the “F—Buddy” or Friend with Benefits for Gay Men

Gay Men Seeing Escorts: Rewards and Risks

Recently, some clients in my psychotherapy practice, which for 27 years has focused on the mental health and well-being of adult gay men, have been discussing the role and value of a “fuck buddy” in their lives.  While all sexual topics (even in our “modern” age) seem to come fraught with controversy these days (and … Read moreThe Role and Value of the “F—Buddy” or Friend with Benefits for Gay Men

Hotter Monogamy for Gay Men

In my psychotherapy practice as a gay men’s specialty therapist for over 22 years, no topic among couples therapy is more frequent than that of the “monogamy vs. non-monogamy” debate.  This is not an easy topic, and trying to over-simplify it just gets you into trouble.  It IS, indeed, complex, and it takes time and … Read moreHotter Monogamy for Gay Men

Gay Therapist Gives Gay Relationship Tips: Resist the Urge to Snoop!

After 27 years as a therapist who specializes in gay men and couples, I’ve seen many problems in relationships repeat, over and over.  One of these is the issue of couples who are struggling to deal with jealousy.  And among jealousy issues, is snooping. Snooping is any act where one partner is doing something secretly … Read moreGay Therapist Gives Gay Relationship Tips: Resist the Urge to Snoop!

No More ‘Cheating’ Part II: How Gay Men Can Have an Open Relationship Without Hurt Feelings

Two gay man at the beach
Gay men in open relationships need lots of communication. 

Part II: Identifying and Implementing Your Options

In my previous article, Part I of this topic, I described how in my work as a psychotherapist specializing in gay men and their relationships, very often I see couples expressing a desire to eliminate “cheating” in a relationship by bravely, candidly, and sensitively discussing their options about how and why either or both partners might desire occasional sex outside the relationship, and how this does not have to be unhealthy or damaging to the relationship. Studies of gay male relationships over the years have explained how it is culturally relatively more acceptable in gay male relationships (more so than in any other kind of human relationship) to have a primary partner but allow sexual play with others.

Read moreNo More ‘Cheating’ Part II: How Gay Men Can Have an Open Relationship Without Hurt Feelings

No More ‘Cheating’ Part I: How Gay Men Can Have an Open Relationship Without Hurt Feelings

No More 'Cheating' Part I: How Gay Men Can Have an Open Relationship Without Hurt Feelings

Dollarphotoclub_78492240-couple1Part I: Gay Men’s Open Relationships:  Starting a Dialogue With Your Partner

Perhaps no word in relationships, including those between gay men, is as inflammatory as “cheating” – the slang to denote one person in a relationship having sex with someone outside of that relationship in a way that too often results in feelings of anger, betrayal, and disappointment in the remaining partner. Yet some would say this dynamic simply borrows from an antiquated Legendary psychotherapist Michael Shernoff, LCSW, who has been an author, professor, and therapist specializing in gay men’s issues in New York City for over 30 years,

Read moreNo More ‘Cheating’ Part I: How Gay Men Can Have an Open Relationship Without Hurt Feelings