Of Bears and Twinks: Weight Loss Issues for Gay Men in Therapy

Gay Men’s Culture As a psychotherapist who has specialized in working with gay men for the past 26 years, I know that part of gay men’s culture is an emphasis on a youthful, lean, muscular physique.  The sentiment is pervasive, and competitive — sometimes good-naturedly, sometimes aggressively and cruelly. Gay men’s culture has identified the … Read more

The Clarity through Contrast Worksheet: Identifying Your Core Values as a Gay Man

The Clarity Through Contrast Worksheet:  Identifying Your Core Values as a Gay Man As a psychotherapist and career/life coach who has specialized working with  gay men for over 20 years, much of my work involves helping my clients get what they want in life.  But how do you KNOW what you really want?  Some of … Read more

Self-Empowerment Through Music: The ‘Power Playlist’

If you’re like me, you can’t go to the gym without your music.  I derive inspiration, energy, and stamina from my personal selections of playlists to energize my entire fitness routine.  At home, I will put on music when I have to do some mindless but nevertheless necessary chore.  And when I’m feeling not-so-great, physically … Read more

How to Have an Olympic Life: Gold, Silver, Bronze

Have you been watching the Olympics?  Are you impressed with the skill, style, determination, stamina, endurance, grace, and aesthetics of the athletes doing what they do best?  If you’re like millions of people across the world during these weeks, you are. Seeing various Olympic events gets me thinking about how these athletes are in many … Read more

Gay Therapists Gives Tips on How Gay Men Build Confidence

One of the most common themes I see in my office doing counseling, psychotherapy, and coaching with gay male individuals and gay couples is that of low self-esteem and low self-confidence.  It’s not surprising; as little gay boys, we get exposed to anti-gay messages outright, or at least to the “invisibility” that comes with the … Read more

Gay Men’s Careers: The Importance of Focus and Hope in Your Work

Grow Your Career: Gay Men and the Informational Interview

In psychotherapy and coaching sessions with my gay male clients every day, I’ve noticed lately that a frequent focus is about work issues.  This makes sense, given that the news and current events atmosphere has focused on a volatile political and economic climate: we get bombarded with news daily, from everything from Facebook to newspaper … Read more

Memory: Blessing or Curse?

I thought about this recently, after a particularly busy day of sessions of clients in my practice.  Is having memory a blessing, or a curse? I was moved by stories of clients who are abuse survivors, with their ability to recall the traumatically abusive incidents that happened to them in detail from various self-indulgent and … Read more

Gay Men’s Career Confidence: Do You Have ‘Professional Self-Esteem’?

What is professional self-esteem? In recent years in my psychotherapy practice, I have noticed a dramatic increase in the demand for more “coaching”-style services, and I have been happy to develop this for my clients. There are personal coaching issues, to be sure, but what I find much more frequently is that clients need professional … Read more