Gay Men’s Relationship Advice: How to Succeed in an Age-Difference Relationship

As a very long-term (28 years) specialist in therapy for gay men, I’m asked often for gay men’s relationship advice, especially how to overcome some of the most common and classic challenges in gay relationships.  Among these are questions about gay relationship situational difficulties that have to do with where and how we live, such as … Read more

Gay Counselor on Why Nerds Make the Best Boyfriends 

As a gay counselor (therapist, coach, sex therapist – I do all of those) for 28 years, I always enjoy when discussions with my clients inspire me to write on a blog topic because “life’s truths” just seem to jump out at us in discussion.  One of these was recently when I found myself saying, “I’m convinced … Read more

Gay Men Coping with Single Life: Tips and Tricks

Gay Men Coping with Single Life: Tips and Tricks At the time of this writing in April, 2020, we are in the midst of the global COVID-19/coronavirus crisis and there are “lockdown”/quarantine conditions all over the world.  I am continuing to provide both therapy or coaching services to my clients who live locally to the … Read more

Gay Therapist on Ghosting: Why Gay Men Do It, How We Cope

Dissolving in nature. Finding his inspiration in nature, posing with touching his shoulder and lowering his head at side

Gay Men and Ghosting:  Why We Do It, How We Cope In the blogosphere, there have already been some articles on gay men and ghosting, but none of them go into any real depth from a mental health point of view, and in my 26 years as a psychotherapist who specializes in therapy for gay … Read more

Single Gay Men in Search of a Relationship: This is Not Your Parents’ Marriage

Premium Package Services - Gay Men's Coaching and Therapy

In my psychotherapy practice, I often work with single gay men in search of a relationship.  Are you sometimes frustrated that you are still single? I hear this a lot in my psychotherapy and coaching practice, where for over 24 years, I have helped gay men deal with this situation. There is no one “magic … Read more

Gay Men in Search of a Partner: Avoiding the Pitfalls of ‘Cash, Connections, and C—k’

In my private practice in counseling and coaching gay men in West Hollywood, my clients who are single often mention a desire to find a permanent partner.  This is only natural; most people (male/female/gay/straight) have an urge to find a partner/spouse to share life with, but this is by no means everyone – it’s also … Read more

Valentine’s Day for Single Gay Men: Coping with Hope

Valentine’s Day, for all its lovely sentiment, is perhaps one of the most divisive holidays of the year.  Everyone can enjoy New Year’s; every American can enjoy President’s Day (thankfully coming up very soon) and Independence Day; we each have a birthday.  But Valentine’s Day is a “holiday for lovers”, and many single people can end … Read more

Finding Mr. Right in Gay Men’s Dating: The Six Lights Theory

In my private practice as a psychotherapist, I work frequently with gay couples seeking conjoint therapy to address a variety of challenges in their relationships.  In my practice in therapy for gay men since 1992, I have come to notice certain consistent patterns in what drives conflict between either long-term couples, or couples who recently … Read more

How to Have a ‘Magnetic’ Relationship: You’re Neg, He’s Poz – Now What? (Part 2 of 2)

In part I of this article, I described some of the very practical HIV transmission risk management issues involved in sex between HIV negative and positive guys. Other issues that often confront “magnetic” or “serodiscordant” couples include not fully understanding the burden that HIV is to your partner, and being only partially able to sympathize and “relate” with his various fears, frustrations, and symptoms.

Read moreHow to Have a ‘Magnetic’ Relationship: You’re Neg, He’s Poz – Now What? (Part 2 of 2)

How to Have a ‘Magnetic’ Relationship: You’re Neg, He’s Poz – Now What? (Part 1 of 2)

How to Have a ‘Magnetic’ Relationship: You’re Neg, He’s Poz – Now What? (Part 1 of 2)

 

 

 

 

 

[NOTE:  This article was written before PrEP. I’ve been a gay men’s specialist therapist and blogger for a VERY long time…]

You’re on your third date with someone who very well could be Mr. Right. You’re impressed that you got him to go to your favorite restaurant when you weren’t sure he would like it. You’re staring across the candle-lit table at those beautiful green eyes of his. He pauses and then takes a deep breath, a little sigh, and says, “So… I guess I should tell you that I’m HIV-positive.”

Read moreHow to Have a ‘Magnetic’ Relationship: You’re Neg, He’s Poz – Now What? (Part 1 of 2)