Gay Men and Mismatched Libidos: Navigating Difference

gay male couple arguing on a bed one white one latino blue shirts

Gay Men and Mismatched Libidos: Navigating Difference Several times recently in my work in sex therapy for gay men, clients have asked me about what to do if they want more, or less, sex than their partner.  It’s sometimes referred to as “desire discrepancy” or “mismatched libidos,” and it can happen in gay or straight … Read more

Gay Men’s Sexuality: Focus on the Five Senses for Better Functioning

gay couple in bed one dark hair one gray hair deposit photo 4 11 22

Gay Men’s Sexuality: Focus on the Five Senses for Better Functioning In my experience as a gay men’s specialist therapist these 30 years now in 2022, and more recently as an AASECT nationally Certified Sex Therapist, I’ve had quite a few guys want to work with me frankly and honestly about their quality of life, … Read more

Mental Health Aspects of Sexual Health for Gay Men

smiling gay male couple in bed deposit photo April 2021

Mental Health Aspects of Sexual Health for Gay Men As a gay men’s specialist psychotherapist and coach for now 30 years (in 2022), and as a Certified Psychiatric Social Worker, and now AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, perhaps it follows that I might be interested in sharing some thoughts about the intersection of psychiatric disorders, physical … Read more

Gay Men and When It’s Time to Break Up a Relationship

sad man with head resting on fists deposit photo November 2021 1

Gay Men and When It’s Time to Break Up a Relationship They say, “Love is grand.”  And it is, really.  In my 29 years (in 2021) as a gay men’s specialist psychotherapist, couples therapist, sex therapist, and life/career/executive coach, I’ve worked with hundreds of gay male couples to help them improve their relationships to try … Read more

Gay Men and Consensual Non-Monogamy Early in Relationships

three bearded me in plaid camping deposit photo 2 8 21

Gay Men and Consensual Non-Monogamy Early in Relationships The curriculum that trains AASECT Certified Sex Therapists like myself (which includes hundreds of hours of instruction, four in-person weekend seminars, 50 hours of clinical supervision in not less than 18 months of experience, and continuing education weekend seminar updates each year), frequently addresses the “style” of … Read more

Gay Men Coping with ED:  The Emotional, Physical, and Interpersonal

Depositphotos 226890362 xl 2015

Gay Men Coping with ED:  The Emotional, Physical, and Interpersonal I have had the pleasure lately of many gay men seeking out sex therapy or life coaching services who are seeking to improve their quality of life via improving the quality of their sex life.  And they improve the quality of their sex life by … Read more

The Needs of Gay Men in the Volatile “LGBT” Era

stars and stripes rainbow flag deosit photo June 2021

The Needs of Gay Men in the Volatile “LGBT” Era A couple of years ago, I wrote about some concerns I had overall about the gradual adoption of “LGBT” (or its variants like LGBTQ, LGBTQ+, etc.) as the umbrella term for referring to all sexual and gender minority persons in society (that article is here … Read more

Healthy Relationships Don’t Do That: A Guide for Gay Men’s Dating and More

Depositphotos 109974764 xl 2015

As a gay men’s specialist therapist for over 29 years (in 2021), I’ve always enjoyed being active on social media and interacting with my therapist colleagues there.  Recently I saw a great post from my local Los Angeles colleague on Instagram, Armine Asatryan, MA, LMFT, who is a specialist in anxiety and Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy.  She … Read more

Improving Gay Men’s Relationships: Meeting Three Needs: Emotional, Sexual, Interpersonal

Depositphotos 127668276 xl 2015

In a previous article (here), I cautioned single gay men about their dating skills and avoiding the all-too-often seen pitfalls of putting the emphasis in dating on the wrong things, such as Cash, Connections, and C—k.  As someone in a 19-year gay relationship with my partner/husband, I always say to clients that the things that … Read more

Three Ways to Improve Your Sex Life for Gay Men

smiling gay male couple in bed deposit photo April 2021

  In my daily work with clients as a gay men’s specialist therapist for 29 years in 2021, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, as well as an LGBT-affirmative, gay men’s specialist coach, author, speaker, and consultant, one of the most frequent questions I get is how to help gay male couples improve their sex lives. It’s … Read more