It’s a safe bet that every psychotherapist eventually will work with adults, male or female, who are survivors (I prefer this term over the word, “victims”) of childhood sexual abuse, incest, or sexual assault. For the past 26 years, I have been a psychotherapist who specializes in working with gay men, and when I work … Read more
Would you like to earn more money, work in the field you want, and make steady progress until you’re at the height of your chosen career field? Most gay men (and, indeed, most people) that I know would say “yes” to all of those. However, only some will achieve that. In general, gay men deal … Read more
You’re outnumbered, again, but maybe not as much as you think. Estimates put introverts at between 25% to 33% of the population. If it feels like almost everyone but you is an extrovert, that’s probably because extroverts are just so obvious, and a lot of introverts are trying to be extroverts to fit in. … Read more
One of the most common topics I help guys with in my psychotherapy and coaching practice (now 22 years) is about improving self-esteem. It makes sense; gay men get a lot of “negative messages” growing up and, cumulatively, they take their toll. Usually in addition to whatever else we are working on (career, finances, relationship … Read more
Depression is the number one mental health problem in the world and gay men, lesbians, and bisexuals are up to twice as likely to suffer from depression as heterosexuals – not because they inferior human beings (contrary to some religious teachings and other oppression), but because the cumulative stress of heterosexism and homophobia in society, … Read more
Louise Hay and the Power of Thoughts Lately, I’ve been revisiting the writings of Louise Hay, the New Age spiritual author and speaker whom I’ve followed for a long time now. She’s 84, and lives a very vibrant life in San Diego. Her whole message is about loving the self, and using the power of … Read more
Coming Out: Again and Again Many young gay men, in childhood and early adolescence, as they become aware that they are gay, often build an internal awareness of their gay identity long before it is known to any other human being, including those closest to them such as parents or best friends. Eventually, this awareness … Read more
Gay Men’s Culture As a psychotherapist who has specialized in working with gay men for the past 26 years, I know that part of gay men’s culture is an emphasis on a youthful, lean, muscular physique. The sentiment is pervasive, and competitive — sometimes good-naturedly, sometimes aggressively and cruelly. Gay men’s culture has identified the … Read more
Have you been watching the Olympics? Are you impressed with the skill, style, determination, stamina, endurance, grace, and aesthetics of the athletes doing what they do best? If you’re like millions of people across the world during these weeks, you are. Seeing various Olympic events gets me thinking about how these athletes are in many … Read more
One of the most common themes I see in my office doing counseling, psychotherapy, and coaching with gay male individuals and gay couples is that of low self-esteem and low self-confidence. It’s not surprising; as little gay boys, we get exposed to anti-gay messages outright, or at least to the “invisibility” that comes with the … Read more
Ken Howard, LCSW, CST is a licensed psychotherapist in California (Licensed Clinical Social Worker #LCS18290), AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, and life/career/executive/relationship coach who has specialized in gay men (individuals and gay male couples) and LGBT+ affirmative therapy for over 30 years.
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